My mum was my everything. I lost her when I was finally at the age where we really start to have fun and be girls together.
I finished uni and came home to help look after her care during chemo and other treatments. I feel we were never really told how bad it was, only that things were stable enough. So life kept moving forward, a year and a half in Mum and I decided that I should solo travel for the first time. She helped me plan and pack and I called her every single day when I was away.
The morning before I was scheduled to come home my dad called me to tell me she had died. I was on the other side of the world and I had to travel over 24 hours alone to get back to a home I could no longer recognise.
As the only girl in my family now I felt such a weight to carry everything and everyone around me whilst figuring out own my life now.
I know no one around that has experienced this at my age and I struggle to manage my anxieties for the future and socialise normally. My dad has had to rely on my support a lot and I am grateful for him too but I feel reminded that his original life has gone whilst mine still has a chance at happiness. But everyday I still need her. And that will never change
, i can only laugh about the irony.
. Thanks for reading.