Hi, not really sure where to start or what even to say. It’s late and I’m sat up crying again.
I lost my mum suddenly in January from a heart attack. My beautiful mum was only 53 when she died.
I miss her so much and sometime my emotions feel so heavy it physically hurts.
I have a big family I have 3 beautiful daughters who miss her too. I have lots of support and family around me. Which I feel so grateful for. But I feel so alone at the same time. My mum was my best friend she lived 1 minute walk from my house. We seen each other everyday spoke everyday.
Nobody really talks about death before you lose someone, but everyone tells me she’s with me and will always be around me and can hear me if I talk. But why do I feel the opposite. I feel like now she has passed it’s like she is gone completely. And I don’t want to feel this way.
My daughters are aged 8,7,3 We openly talk about grandma and fun memories we have. But whenever I’m on my own whether it be at nighttime or when I get a moment alone. I constantly cry like I get this feeling that I have now. That I’m never going to be ok. I would give anything to have my mum back with us.
Everything I do on a day to day basis like school run/cleaning/going to work.
seems such an effort all I want to do is absolutely nothing. Stay home lay on the couch. But this is everyday I have this feeling.
Would be nice to find someone to talk to that’s going through the same as me. Are all these feelings normal? Or any advice atall.
Sorry for long post and thank you