Lost my mum suddenly

Hi, not really sure where to start or what even to say. It’s late and I’m sat up crying again.

I lost my mum suddenly in January from a heart attack. My beautiful mum was only 53 when she died.
I miss her so much and sometime my emotions feel so heavy it physically hurts.
I have a big family I have 3 beautiful daughters who miss her too. I have lots of support and family around me. Which I feel so grateful for. But I feel so alone at the same time. My mum was my best friend she lived 1 minute walk from my house. We seen each other everyday spoke everyday.
Nobody really talks about death before you lose someone, but everyone tells me she’s with me and will always be around me and can hear me if I talk. But why do I feel the opposite. I feel like now she has passed it’s like she is gone completely. And I don’t want to feel this way.
My daughters are aged 8,7,3 We openly talk about grandma and fun memories we have. But whenever I’m on my own whether it be at nighttime or when I get a moment alone. I constantly cry like I get this feeling that I have now. That I’m never going to be ok. I would give anything to have my mum back with us.

Everything I do on a day to day basis like school run/cleaning/going to work.
seems such an effort all I want to do is absolutely nothing. Stay home lay on the couch. But this is everyday I have this feeling.
Would be nice to find someone to talk to that’s going through the same as me. Are all these feelings normal? Or any advice atall.

Sorry for long post and thank you

Gemma

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Hi Gemma sorry to hear about your mum she was taken far too young, I lost my mum in July this year and to me she was taken too quickly although she was 85 I still feel she went too soon, I cared for her at home for the last 6 weeks, I miss her so much every single day, I’ve cried every day, I know I’ll never be the same person again, I too with I could have my mum back, life is so cruel sometimes I wish I could feel her presence, I look for signs every day, wish I could dream about her but I’m told while I’m grieving so much it’s my brains way of protecting me, I really don’t know, Its a rollercoaster of emotions every day, i hope like me you feel your mum soon, take a day at a time that’s what i was told to do, keep messaging on here it really does help
Take care
Lynn x

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Hi Gemma,
My names Bridie. I’ve just joined so new to this but read your story and couldn’t not reply. I’m so so sorry you lost your mum suddenly and at a young age. I admire that you’re able to put it into words so well and that you’re going to work. Even though you may not think it you are strong to be able to do this. Crying is draining but i feel it’s a great way to grieve and is totally normal. What you wrote could have been me writing it so (without sound rude) it’s comforting to see someone else going through and feeling the same things.
I too lost my mum very suddenly too at 67. It’s very hard and sometimes i think it still hasn’t sunk in and I struggle to explain how I feel.

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Hi Gemma

I’m so sorry for the loss of your wonderful mum. I too, and my children, had the same relationship with my poor mum, who passed 2 months ago. I read your post, and instantly felt connected as everything you have said, is how I’m feeling too. I miss her so much. So much my heart hurts. All I feel is pain, and loneliness. So I know how you feel, and I wish I could send any love and strength I have left in me xx

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Hello there, Gemma, and everyone,
As I lost my Mum 8 months ago, I thought I was doing okay.
WRONG - even having a strong Christian faith, I made it to church earlier, and, for the first time, in over 24 years, had to come home, not even making it inside.
Many unexpected things can spark memories, and cause tears, mostly, there’s nothing specific.
One abiding thing I know for sure, that God/Jesus understands and empathises, as he too wept.
That’s a great comfort, during this challenging time.

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Hi Bridie, I am so sorry for the loss of your mum.
I understand what you meant that’s it’s comforting to know others are feeling the same. (As horrible as that is)
I know we have to carry on don’t we. But Sometime I feel my emotions do get too much.
It is hard to put into words how we feel sometimes.
Sending my love

Gemma
X

I lost my mother in January to drugs, I find nights especially hard too my mind just doesn’t want to shut off. I get panicky when I think or talk about it cause I tend to block it off. My support came from my grandmother who passed away 2 years ago at Christmas, so I know what it’s like to feel alone with dealing with it all. I want to try and say something to help but as Im going through the same all I can say I’m so sorry your going through this too, if you ever need a chat late at night I’ll be awake

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