My precious mum and dear friend passed away on Wednesday and I’m overwhelmed with grief but can’t process my emotions and feel blocked. It was such a massive shock as she was always in good health for 83 years and a lively and free spirit until just after Christmas when s he began to have some mobility issues. She was diagnosed with secondary brain cancer two weeks ago and three days after that suffered a stroke, and we were at hone with her 24/7 until s he passed. I’m heartbroken and overwhelmed by regrets and what ifs and feel that I can’t even cry properly. I feel locked emotionally. I feel Im in a dark tunnel and I’ll never be happy again. She was a beautiful lady inside and out and despite everyone saying I was a great and devoted son I feel like I let her down. I can’t accept I’ll never see her kind face again
Hello @MartynH,
I’m so sorry that you are in such pain and shock after the passing of your mum. It’s natural for you to be experiencing all the feelings you have, it’s very early days for you.
If you can please post here again and let us support you.
Would you like to tell us more about your mum?
She sounds as though she was a lovely person, it’s no wonder that you are suffering.
We have all suffered loss here and although we are at different stages of our grief we will do our best to understand your pain comfort you. Be kind to yourself, only do what you can do without pressure, you’ll be in our thoughts. 
Thankyou. I will try… at the moment I just feel overwhelmed by her passing and unable to express myself. My mum was a truly lovely person, so kind, so interested in other people, so selfless and strong. My sister had Down’s syndrome and my mum devoted 57 years of her life to making sure Jenny had every opportunity to have a full life. She did so without a second thought. The tributes my mum has had this week are amazing and all talk of her sweet and friendly nature and love of life. I loved her so much but feel I did not always show it enough and was wrapped up in my own life… I want to cry floods of tears but they won’t flow … and that makes me feel horrible. I’m sorry Im rambling a bit but my brain is all over the place at the moment
Don’t apologise for anything! I lost my mum 7 weeks ago suddenly and how you’re feeling now is how I was feeling back then. All the emotions are running through you right now and it’s so fresh that it’s hard to deal with them all separately. Those first few days are despairing. I’m still very new to this journey too but you are not alone. We are all here for each other and talking on here has helped me. It’s not taken away the pain or the grief but it’s nice to talk to people who understand what you’re going through right now. We are all here for you and each other.
Nic x
Your mum sounds like a wonderful and caring person. Don’t worry about the tears, you can grieve without tears. You have not let her down. You say you didn’t always show her that you loved her enough, but speaking as a mother, she will have known that you did.
Your mum sounds like a wonderful and caring person. Don’t worry about the tears, you can grieve without tears. You have not let her down. You say you didn’t always show her that you loved her enough, but speaking as a mother, she will have known that you did.