Lost My Mum

I lost my mum on 22nd October 2022 and yesterday was her funeral and 18th November will mum’s birthday and then Christmas. I’m just not coping with it all I was mum’s carer for around 11 years my dad was mum carer before he became ill with cancer and he passed away 2011. Mum was a very outgoing person loved life but for some reason in January this year she changed over night she had a black out and was taken to hospital she had a bad uti from then on mum’s health just went down hill mum became bed ridden had carers coming into help with cleaning and washing but I was here all the time she stopped eating and drinking even though tried to incourage her as much as possible Mum got another uti whilst having a catheter the infection took hold and mum got urosepis her kidneys stopped working and basically mum was given palliative care and she gave her last breath at 10.30am on 22nd 0ct. I just feel so lost, lonely, empty and numb I don’t know how I’m going to live without her, my heart is so broken.


Hello @Maria2, thank you for bravely starting this thread. I am so sorry for the loss of your mum; I can hear how heartbroken you are and I want you to know that you are not alone.

Many of our members have experienced the loss of a parent, and I am sure someone will be along to offer their support soon. I just wanted to share some things with you which may help you to understand what you are going through and where to find further support if you need it.

Our Losing a parent article talks about some of what you may be experiencing right now. Our Grief Guide self-help platform has information, resources and advice to help guide you through your grief. Our members also say that our Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS, has been helpful to them.

Birthday and special events can be so difficult, and you are in the early days of your grief, so please, do reach out for support. We are here for you,


Hi Maria2 I’m sorry for your loss.It sounds like you’ve been through a really tough time.I lost my mum last February.She was 52 and she passed away in hospital after a long battle from the end of November 2020 till the beginning of February 2021 after she had a stroke.Its been a roller coaster since then.I felt so lost and alone at the beginning.Everything was so raw and surreal and the physical and emotional pain was exhausting.I wish I could say something to help.Time doesn’t heal but for me it is less raw now and I’m getting use to my new normal.It just takes time.The first year and a half was the hardest for me.Take care x

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Hello Maria
I am sorry for your loss I feel your pain. Sending much love xxx

I am so sorry you are not alone.
my story is similar.

my heart goes out to you. it is a long road — take care of yourself. take as long as you need.

we can rejoice in having great mothers.

I’ve not just lost my mum also lost my home and also going to have to break my promise to my mum regarding her two cat’s. I just can’t go on anymore.

Hi Maria2
Its hard to think clearly dont panic breath talk to me about your moms cats what are they called

Charlotte and George both are rescued cats from rspca, they were found abandoned by their last owner. MUM loved them both, Mum loved animals always thinking that cat or dog walking past the house was a stray.


Your mom sounds
Like a very kind hearted lady to think of animals needs xx have you phoned the Rspca some do a foster where they look after pets until you can get back on your feet . You say youve lost your home have you got somewhere to go . Charlotte and George sound like they are very love cats. Now how are you today

Had a bad break down this morning asking mum why she left me and to let me know if she she was around. Tomorrow will be mum’s birthday so another day to get through.

Maria2 breathe thats ok to feel like you are having break down you have lost your mom. You need to honor your mom on her birthdays. greif is the prise we pay for love .Greif is paiinful there is no way out but through it you cannot heal what you dont feel. So if you want to cry cry but you are not alone we all have these moments. But talk we all want to know about this wounderful woman you call mom. What was your moms name? How old would your mom be? I like to think they are around so talk . Alway listening sending much love

My Mum’s name is Pamela (Pam), Mum was a beautiful wife, Mum of 3 and Grandchildren 7 and 16 Great Grandchildren. Mum would of been 77 today. Could talk to her about anything and if she thought she could help solve things she would try and would even give us her last penny. Mum loved life she loved dancing and was a independent woman, a strong woman, kind and gentle and loving. I miss her so so much x

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Happy 77th birthday to your mom Pamela. She sounds amazing. I think she would be looking down at all the amazing children and grandchildren and great grandchildren with great pride look at her legacy all to carry her memorries of kindness and wisdom and strength. You should be so proud to have a mom like that . It is ok to miss your momshe has played an enormous part in your life now you have to honnor her by carrying her with you in your heart breathe put one foot infont and move forward with her in your mind and heart sending much love xxx

Hello Maria2
How are you today ? Sending much love xxx

Not feeling very well and also had the ‘bill’ come from funeral directors today. I saw my Grandchildren today, they asked where ‘Nana was’ told them that Nana was a diamond in the sky they are only 4 and 2 years old. Thank you so much for your kind words and comfort x

Hello Maria2
What a wonderful way to pay tribute to your mom . Yes I knowit can be hard when the bill lands in your hands . Always listeni sending much love xxx

So so sorry to hear this x I lost my mum on Tuesday and am struggling with it. We have been caring for her for a year x

It was still a shock

Sending love

I’m sorry for your loss, I looked after my mum for 10 years but it got harder from this January, Mum was so independent driving etc but over night just changed and then slowly got worse over the months and became bed ridden wouldn’t eat or drink basically slowly gave up.

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You are amazing x mum was doing great up till end Sept and then slowly declined.

Keep thinking she would improve. But in hospice she declined so quick. And you don’t have a clue what you should be checking x they need to be sure x

I can so relate to this, I would try spoonfeeding my mums with a drop of soup and she would just push my hand away. I think she finally gave up the fight. So difficult to experience. My heart goes out to you

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