Lost my mum

Newbie here lost my beloved mum 3rd October this year very unexpectedly she had previous heart attacks and got over them 2nd October she had another one a massive one right in front of my 7 year old son as she and dad where babysitting my son saw everything her being taken into hospital etc all with dad panicking I got to hospital along with my husband who took our son away from there whilst I went into hospital many many tests later was told nothing much could be done for her and she should sign a dnr she wouldn’t my dad brother and I stayed as long as we could that eve got back the next day early many family and friends came into see her I stepped out for a few mins to make a call with my husband to my dad calling me telling me to get back now I’ve never ran so fast with husband we got back to my dad standing looking lost my mum having another massive heart attack doctor and nurse was there didn’t do anything just strode there whilst my mum passed in my arms with her favourite song playing she passed her mouth open and eyes I managed to close her eyes but couldn’t her mouth this haunted me as I saw the look of fear in her eyes she must have been in so much pain it’s been hell on earth mum and dad where a week away from their 50th wedding anniversary the day after she had her funeral I’m not coping sleeping eating more than I should my body hurts so bad I feel for my dad he’s hurting so bad he looks lost my son isn’t dealing with this lashing out and I’m sure it’s grief I feel as I’m holding the family together as dad has never been on his own mum did everything I don’t know what to do absolutely dreading Christmas as she loved it

Sobbing my eyes out writing this post as I’ve not seen it written down as it’s all in my head spinning bad dream I feel I’m in


cathryn, my heart goes out to you and your family. i hope you find some peace of mind sharing your grief with others like myself on this site. we’re all grieving for the loss of loved ones close to our hearts. my mum left this world in october and it’s been the most difficult time of my life. this site has been a source of comfort for me. i hope it can be for you as well.

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Thank you so much im so sorry for your loss too

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@Cathrync77 so sorry for the pain of your recent loss. What a trauma for you, no wonder you are feeling so bad. It’s going to take time for all your family to process and adjust to this devastating loss. Take each day as it comes and don’t feel pressured by any expectations. It’s a hard time as everything is still so raw for you. I’m 11 months on from losing my Mum and it has been a rough year. Read up on the advice and guidance on the website and in other people’s experiences on the forum. I found it helpful because it helps you to feel less alone in trying to manage your grief. Keep going, moving forward, a day at a time. Best wishes xx

So sorry to you and your family at your loss x Hope u get some comfort from this site at this sad time x