Hi
I lost my mum 4 weeks ago to cancer after only being diagnosed 3 months ago. I sat with her in the hospice for the last 2 weeks of her life watching and waiting for her to die. Her final day was horrendous nothing like you see on tv. I held her hand, stroked her face and sat with her for over 14hrs of pure hell which scared the shit out of me and although im glad thats over with now im also wishing it hadnt happened and mum was still here. I cant sleep well, i cant eat properly, cant deal with going anywhere and hence cant manage going to work and cry everyday at some point even over stupid silly things. This is hard and no one prepares you for this. I have my mums ashes to collect next week and i dont know what im going to do with them as my 2 brothers have different ideas on this and i feel stuck in the middle, the whole funeral thing was a nightmare with others sticking their nose in when it wasnt appreciated. My brothers basically left me to sort it all which wasnt a big surprise as during mum being ill for years an needing help it was me who became her carer not them. Im angry with them about that because im became her carer and lost sight that i was her daughter. I have lots of mixed emotions, every day is different but there all hard. When does this get easier ??
Hi @Louise12345 sorry for your awful experience and the devastating loss of your Mum. I can empathise with your pain as my Mum died in January. These are relatively early days for you in the grief journey so give yourself time to process everything that has happened. It has been a very tough 11 months for me, full of sorrow and stress. My brother and I shared out our Mum’s ashes so that we both felt we could do as we wanted. I scattered my share into a huge pot and planted flowers as an ongoing tribute to my Mum. Seeing the pot in my garden has given me some comfort. I think grief will present you with a huge mix of emotions as the time goes by and it’s not a good idea to rush them through, go with the flow. Time goes by and feelings shift and change. Eventually there will be more light and the memories of happier times. Take care xx
Thank you for your kind thoughts and taking the time to read and answer to my post😘