Hello,
New to this site but really wanted to reach out.
I lost my Mum on 1st April, suddenly and under tragic circumstances (she should not have died).
I have been in denial until the last month or so where it has really hit me.
She was just 63 and I am only 30.
I never thought I’d have to go on without my Mum (not yet at least) I thought I would have another 30 years with her.
I don’t know anyone that has experienced similar and I feel so alone.
Sorry to hear about your mum 
I can relate to you. I lost my mum last year, at 32. You never expect to lose your mum at this age - all my friends still have their parents, and some still have grandparents too. It’s not fair, and nothing anyone says will charge that The only thing that has got me through the last year is keeping busy, still thinking about her and about the life she would still want me to lead. We can’t stop as that’s not what our mum’s would have wanted. It’s very hard, and probably will always be. But just take one day at a time. Take a breather when needed. Cry and go for a walk when needed. Watch a film and laugh when needed too. Just keep carrying on a bit at a time and carry her with you x
Hi @Hjc1993
Im so sorry to hear what you ate gping through. I can totally relate. My mum died and unexpectedly in feb of this year. The shock and trauma was horrific. I believe when its unexpected we just go into survival mode and that can be like denial. I had such bad anxiety and panic afterwards. I sorted all the admin, probate, funeral, house etc. Looking back i dont know how i did it, i was still in shock. I had counselling right from the start which helped, but i think it just got me through the panic and shock. About 1 month ago i started dreaming about her all the time, and in my dreams she was there tellinge itvwas a mistake and she hadnt died. Woke up feeling sick all over again. I also noticed that i couldn’t even look at photos of her without feeling punched in the gut. Like you i started to think i havent dealt with this at all, so ive signed up for bereavement counselling which starts next week. Im hopeful it will help. Even today, 8 months on i thought to myself i must ring mum this afternoon, and then bang it hits you all over again. Its so sad