I lost my Dad 10 years ago. 18 months ago my mum was diagnosed with melanoma. She was treated with immunotherapy but unfortunately had a severe reaction and ended up in critical care twice. She had gained a new condition called Miasimia Gravis. Very quickly she was diagnosed at stage 4 as it had spread however she was put on medication and was doing really well. In November I noticed she wasn’t quite herself and took her to hospital. She had a PE but was doing ok. I went home on the Friday night and she was sat in the chair laughing and joking. The next morning as I made my way to the hospital they called me to say get here quickly, bring the family Mums condition has dramatically changed. I was in shock took on everything they said to me they thought she had a stroke. She was unconscious had a massive bleed on the brain and was now partially brain-dead. I couldn’t understand how this had happened so quickly. I was told by three other patients in her ward that mum was given him MEDS in the morning and began to choke and there was no nurse to help her and she turned blue. One of the ladies who was hooked up on oxygen had to go and get help from another ward. I can’t help but think Mum would still be here if it wasn’t for this and that the bleed on the brain was caused by the pressure of choking and lack of oxygen. I have made a complaint, but I’m fighting against the NHS. It’s a losing battle. I just feel that Mum didn’t have the dignified death and ability to say goodbye to people or for people to say goodbye to her like we would’ve had if this had not of happened. I can’t grieve for her as I’m so angry and sad.
Hello @Angelislington ,
I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling angry and sad. I’m so sorry to hear about your parents. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support. In the meantime, you may wish to look at these Sue Ryder resources which might be helpful.
- Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
- Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
- Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
- Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Alex