Hello.
I’m new to the site.
I lost my mum last week at 89 years old. She struggled with mobility but was otherwise well. Her death to a stroke was a shock. It was quick and I’m told she would not have suffered I was with her until the end.
I cared for my mum in the last few years of her life. I was also ever close to her in my younger days supporting her through a terrible divorce and getting her on the right track again emotionally and financially. She was the best nan to my children. She always said they’d given her a new lease of life.
I carry no guilt but am so so sad and upset. I know I always did my best for my mum. I can’t see a light at the end of the tunnel as yet …
Other than my husband and 2 children there has been no support from the family - her half brother and half sister.
When sorting through possessions they were there. Over a week has passed by and I have heard nothing from them. I have found that hard to take.
I sent an email to my in-laws and they have not replied with any form of comfort.
I feel so isolated.
I’m usually so good at coping with adversity but I really can’t see I’ll get over this…
Hi sue sorry for your loss its never easy losing a loved one you have the 3 most people around to help you with this sad time in your husband and 2 children as for your half brother and sister its a shame that they haven’t kept in touch so don’t let that hold you down just leave the door open just incase and concentrate on you and your family around you take care hopefully you can find peace
Hi Sue, I know how you feel, I lost my mum in May 24, we got very close in the last years, although I was ill myself I was there with her in the week helping her, it’s heart renching, I have no family they don’t speak to me, I just have my husband and my son don’t speak to me either, if you need a chat that would help me too,
It’s not that my mums family don’t speak to me, they’re just quite rude and insensitive. They would often make my mum feel upset by the way they behaved and I would always be the one to talk my mum around. I’m missing out lots of context here because it’d be as long as war and peace and it makes me angry ! I don’t want to feel negative about them anymore. Being negative about them makes me feel physically unwell. My mum would always forgive them - so while I have to be in contact with them for the funeral, I will behave as my mum would expect me to.
However, my intention following the funeral is to cut them off entirely. I didn’t see much of them anyway and I live in a different town and have a full life. I won’t tell them, I’ll just drift away and ghost them if they try to get in touch. They are so uncaring they’ll get fed up !
My husband and two children are my world. Other than my mum included in this, that’s the way it’s always been.
From this I’d say surround yourself by people you love and care for those who are positive.
Don’t allow your son not to speak to you. You’re his mum, your love is unconditional and you’re always there for him. Whatever the reason he doesn’t speak to you, find a way around it. He will miss his mum I’m sure.
Take care