I lost my Nan 8 days ago, she was very old but still very much enjoyed life and was a massive part of my life and our family- she was just the most beautiful caring person and adored us all- I have always been closer to her then to my mum. She was being treated for sepsis after a fall and seemed to be improving it was all so sudden and we were all with her when she died- I have felt in a dream world ever since- I miss her voice, her presence I can’t believe I won’t see her ever again. I cried non stop for the first 4 or 5 days, the shock has slightly worn off but I feel physically so unwell- I have young children so very little time to think or rest- just feel a swirl of emotion and sadness, dread and like I’m living in a bad dream- then I feel bad for not coping and being grateful for my healthy beautiful children especially as I’ve stated having nightmares that it’s them in hospital and I can’t get to them in time- I don’t know why I’m posting I just know this is only the start and I feel overwhelmed with the depth of how I feel
@Georgie30 I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my mum 8 days ago and only just joined this group in the last couple of days. My mum was very ill in the last few weeks before she passed and the doctors already warned us that she had limited time due to her body shutting down. I thought I was prepared but no! I have been floating around since I received the phonecall. I think I’m still in shock. I just can’t get my head around the fact that she’s really gone. I feel completely alone in this grieving process even though I have family surrounding me.
I think the nightmares you are having is your fear of losing other loved ones. I’ve been having the same anxieties. I keep thinking, I thought I was prepared for my elderly mum’s passing due to ill health, yet it has hit me so hard, in a way where I never expected, so, how would I cope if something happened to my partner or our kids? I’m am so scared of everything right now.
I think the swirl of emotions that you feel are probably normal (I also get these shaking episodes) …I think it affects everyone differently.
I’m just trying to do a couple of simple things per day to keep myself busy whilst also trying to make funeral arrangements. I focus on my family as I go through each day, emotions are all over the place.
I think forums like these are very helpful as we’re all strangers to one another, there are no expectations or judgements. It’s nice that everyone shares and supports.
Sending you a big hug xx