Hi
I lost my nan at the beginning of April, I saw her a week before she pasted and altho she was unwell her condition was no worse than she had been for a about a year previously. She was in a nursing home with dementia as well as other medical conditions. Me and my children visited at least one evening a week and she was my everything.
When she died i was on holiday with my husband and kids, my mum decided not to tell me and ruin the last few days of my holiday so i never got to say goodbye, hold her hand, have one last hug or kiss, tell her i love her.
I am full of guilt over not being there when she past, i cry everyday.
I am full of anger, i am angry with myself for going on holiday, angry at my nan for not holding on for 3 more days till i was home and angry at some family members who were with her and didnt deserve to be.
I dont know how i move past the anger and the guilt.
I am sick of people telling me i will be ok or it will get easier, right now i cant see it and to be honest i dont care i just want my nan back
Thanks for listening to me rant