Lost my nan

Hi we lost our beloved mam/nan 47 days ago today and it still feels like day 1 all over again every single day. It was sudden and not expected an horrendous thing to see and that morning keeps playing over and over in our minds constantly. Feeling guilty, angry, sadness and this pain that I never knew existed. I know that these emotions are common in everyone that loses someone they love very dearly and I can’t see any possible way that I’m going to feel happy again every time I smile or laugh I feel guilty and bad so instantly stop. Any advise on how to cope? Thank you

Hi Charlotte,

I’m so sorry to hear that you lost your nan and that you are having these horrible flashbacks. You’re right that these emotions are very common parts of grief, and it is also very early days. It’s important to be kind to yourself and give yourself a chance to grieve - but don’t feel bad about being happy sometimes, it’s natural for the emotions to come and go.

I hope it helps a tiny bit to be able to share things here on the site. There are many supportive people here who will understand some of what you are going through. While you wait for some more replies to your post, you may find it helpful to have a read of what some other people have written, and post a reply if you see anyone you’d like to talk more to. For example, here are some recent conversations about losing a grandparent: