Lost my partner of 15 years to suci6

Hi I recently lost my partner in October to sucicide I found him down stairs on the morning of the school run we have 2 girls together 5 and 6 I found I seen him in the morg I seen him at the chapel of rest and I feel my mind is tortured did I drive him to his death I feel I did everyday is hard there’s not been a day I ihaven’t cried or wished I was dead 15 years I was with him since we were 12 we had loads of problems but the worst was the past 3 years with his drinking which said he did because I cheated

Hi Jenny,

This is not your fault, I promise you 100% you can not be responsible for someone else’s choice.

You’re currently grieving and we find ourselves trying to find out all of the ‘whys’ and ‘ifs’ and ‘buts’

Sending so much love, try and stay strong for your girls.

I lost my soulmate 6 weeks ago and have two boys aged 4 and 9 who are keeping me going.

Big hugs,

Louise xx

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This is not your fault, I lost my partner to alcohol addiction and there is not a cause for this, it is a disease that can only be beaten by the drinker themselves. They just look for an excuse to carry on drinking and that was his get out clause which was nothing to do with anything you did. Please never blame yourself for someone else’s actions, they are grown ups and make choices themselves. I did blame myself when my fiancé passed away, he had a cardiac arrest from too much alcohol, was there more I could do to stop him but I did not control him only he could. It’s a struggle to cope with the grief itself, I try not to add blame to the mix although it’s hard not to. Rosie

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Hi Jenny123,

I’m so sorry to hear about what you are going through with the loss of your husband. It sounds as though things are very tough and you are feeling really overwhelmed.

I think you could really do with some support and I’m glad that you’ve been able to talk about how you’re feeling here. There is lots of other support out there, and I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to someone about how you are feeling.

The Samaritans are always there 24/7 if you need to talk about anything that’s bothering you (116 123, or jo@samaritans.org).

You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.

Sue Ryder also offers online bereavement counselling. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. Find out more and register: www.sueryder.org/counselling

You deserve care and support so please, Jenny, get in touch with one of these services.

If you are at risk of harming yourself, please call 999, go to A&E or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.

Take care,

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Thankyou Michelle I am receiving councelimg I have had about 4 sessions I also been put on mertazapain I know its it’s not my fault but I feel I drove him to it