Lost my partner of 15 years

Losing a partner
1

I recently lost my partner of 15 years, my world has turned upside down, he had been suffering from paranoia and we never expected him to do what he had done. I cannot explain how I feel, my emotions are all over the place. I just cannot see how I am going to carry on without him

2

Hello Tracy,

What a terrible time for you , try to find somebody to talk to -a counsellor, there maybe somebody your doctor can suggest.
Friends and family are not always the best people to talk to , they have their own grief and ideas on how to cope.

Take care of yourself, J x

3

Thank you for your message, I have contacted Cruse Bereavement which I’m still waiting to see. They said it usually takes 3 months until someone sees me.

4

Hi Tracy,

I’m so very sorry to that you recently lost your partner of 15 years. It sounds like your loss was sudden, which must have been a terrible shock for you. It’s completely understandable that you can’t explain how you feel - sometimes we just don’t have the words.

You mentioned that you’d contacted Cruse and that they’ve got quite a long waiting list. If you felt you needed to speak to someone sooner than than, we have just launched an online counselling service where the sessions are held over video chat. This might not be what you’re after, but it’s there if you think it could help. There’s more information about the service here: https://support.sueryder.org/bereavement-counselling

Keep in touch with us if it helps - this community is here to support you.

Take care,
Eleanor

5

Hi Eleanor,
Thank you for your message. My partner took his own life which I would never of thought he could do it. Unfortunately myself and his daughter found him.

6

Hi Tracy,
I am so sorry. I cannot begin to imagine what you and your daughter must be going through at this time. There are others in this community who have been bereaved this way, who will be able to understand how you’re feeling.

Do you and your daughter have plenty of support around you? Family or close friends, perhaps? I know you’re waiting on some support from Cruse, but it can help a little to be around loved ones, even if you don’t feel ready to talk about your partner’s death.

There are some resources out there and an organisation called SOBS that focus specifically on bereavement following a suicide. I’d be happy to send you a couple of links if that would be helpful - either now or further in the future.

Take care of yourself,
Eleanor

7

Hello Tracy,
I am so very sorry to read your message and my heart goes out to you and the young girl. It is bad enough when some dies from illness but truly tragic the way you have lost your partner. Please get help because the days ahead are going to be hard and life is not going to be happy for sometime, there is so much to do and the lack of energy which we suffer from when grieving makes it worse. So please think about yourself first and then you will be able to deal with other things as they arise. Talking or even writing about how you feel will help and as someone said earlier, family and friends are not always in the best place to help. Keep looking for the right help for you at this time because you and your life will change so you may need different help in the months to come. My thoughts are with you. Take care of yourself.
S

8

Thank you for your kind thoughts.
T