Lost my partner to alcohol

I lost my partner to alcohol I feel angry and keep thinking to myself that he didnt love me but i feel like i am trying to convince myself that he didnt
I am so confused, I feel like I lost him over the last 2 years, it was hospital or rehab and when he wasnt in hospital or rehab he was back to drinking again and when he was drinking I felt like he wasnt the person I met.
I dont how I’m supposed to feel.

Hello @Storm123, I’m so sorry for the loss of your partner. Losing someone to addiction can bring with it lots of difficult emotions, like the ones you are going through right now

You are not alone - sadly, other members of our community have lost loved ones to addictions.

I hope you find the community to be a support to you. You might also want to look at Al-Anon families. They support anyone affected by someone’s drinking, including people bereaved due to alcohol. They also have a helpline on 0800 0086 811 which is open 7 days a week.

Take good care and keep reaching out,

1 Like

I wanted to respond to this but I don’t have experience of alcohol abuse directly but indirectly i know how hard it can be to live with an alcoholic and the devastating affect it can have on everyone involved, trust being a major one.
Because he was an alcoholic doesn’t mean he didn’t love you but I do get how easy/easier it is to turn a relationship on his head in the confusion of grief.
I’m sorry you’re in a bad place. All I can do is reassure you that there is no right or wrong way to grieve, there is no right or wrong way to feel.
You just have to deal with what comes up and work it out the best you can. Take it hour by hour.
This life of grief is hard but it doesn’t mean you won’t eventually get a life back, different as the life we had is gone. But it does get easier.

1 Like


My partner was a heavy drinker. Most nights he was drunk by 7 and asleep soon after 8. I don’t know how many arguments we had about it, or because of it. So many times I nearly finished with him, but I loved lots about him and I was afraid of being on my own. Oh the irony! Just over two years ago we had appalling row about something because he was drunk. I gave an ultimatum - beer or us. He promised to stop and switched to alcohol free. After about six months I knew he had started to drink again. I found empty cans hidden in the garage. We went through - “just one occasionally” to just one a night, then just two occasionally and so on.

One morning just over a year ago he got up as usual and then said he had a pain in his chest. An hour later he was pronounced dead from what turned out to be a massive aortic dissection, result of coronary disease and very high blood pressure. If he had had any warning symptoms he didn’t say anything. He was 60, ten years younger than me.

His mother is still hardly able to have a life; every day I am reminded of all the ways he could still be living a useful life, and, yes, I am on my own. And yes, I have been very angry with him for not taking better care of himself and leaving so much grief behind.

I heard yesterday that everyone in the world who lives in extreme poverty could be helped by money equivalent to less than One Month’s world alcohol consumption. Unfortunately neither society nor governments take it seriously enough. I know my partner loved me, but the addiction/ habit was just too strong for him.

Don’t be afraid or ashamed of whatever you feel. I’m at the stage now when I’m mostly annoyed with him, while missing him like hell.


1 Like

My parnter was 29 and was aware that if he carried on he would die, the drink give him liver disease he was given so many chances and help but he couldnt beat it. I feel like the government need to have more restrictions on alcohol wacthing him go through what he did was heart breaking and seeing there personality change as well was the hardest, thank u

My partner was also an alcohol addict and he died from it yesterday. I completely understand where you, and the people who replied to you, are coming from. I could never leave him though many people including his family told me I should. He had periods of sobriety but always relapsed and he couldnt be helped. I think people who have lost others due to addiction are a unique group with our own feelings that someone who has never lost anyone to addiction just cannot understand. I feel for you and that is of no help to you, but I wanted you to know that you arent alone in this.