lost my partner

Losing a partner
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I lost my partner 7 weeks ago which was sudden and I was never given an explanation why it happened so quickly at the hospital or if they did I didnt take it in, even on her certificate it stated” malignancy of uknown origin” so I dont know if there was anything I could have done sooner so I blame myself but maybe I shouldn’t all this is too much for me to cope with

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Hello @Pete72,

I can see that you’re new to the community, so I wanted to say that I am so sorry for the loss of your partner that brings you here.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that may help right now.

  • Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief

  • Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,

Alex

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Dear @Pete72

I’m so sorry for the loss of your loved one.

My 52 year old husband died suddenly in his sleep in March due to Sudden Adult Death Syndrome (SADS) which is quite rare.

Like you, I played everything over again and again to see if I could’ve done something. The feelings of guilt are still massive for me.

You’re going through so much right now. At seven weeks the mind is still in shock so please try to look after yourself and take every day a minute at a time.

This forum has been an immense help to me because others understand the pain you’re going through. Please keep posting if you need to.

Take care :orange_heart:

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@Lonelyplanet do you struggle that there was no reason for your husbands passing , hence SADS , I find it hard to understand that a fit healthy person can just go so quickly with no reason.

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Hi @Linda01

The questions in my head are never ending. We’re there any clues? Why was it my husband? Will something happen to our son?

Such a struggle really. I also have a lot of guilt because I thought I heard a noise at night and ignored it. Turns out the beeping was my husband’s apple watch (he was in the other room because I snore). :cry:

I hope you’re taking it a day at a time xx

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@Lonelyplanet , there was absolutely nothing with Kev except 6 months earlier he passed out in the bathroom in the middle of the night which was very scary as I heard a thud and didn’t know what had happened. Kev did all the right things by going to Dr next day blood tests, ecg etc and after results they said it was a “common feint.”

To this day i believe there was more to it, he was a fit healthy 63 year old and it was just like a light been switched off , one minute talking and then gone .

It is so hard losing them let alone the death been recorded as SADS, please do not be hard on yourself about the noise you may or may not have heard as our senses are very different in the middle of the night when we are half asleep.

I am taking each day , as I hope you are too , I just feel incredibly sad about it all of the time , from the moment i open my eyes till i go to sleep Kev is always in my thoughts as i am sure is the same for you and your husband. :sleepy_face:

Take care xx

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It seems you in the ‘what if’ stage. Which I still have but at one point it controlled all my thoughts. I feel your pain. I so hope it eases a bit for you, it is torture.