I lost my partner of 17 years in December. My life feels empty and lonely now. It really true that you don’t realise what you’ve got until it’s gone. I just want him back.
I am so sorry you have found yourself as part of our ‘group’ but you have done the right thing. Coming on here will allow you to share your feelings and connect with others who are all going through exactly the same as you are. It’s 8 weeks today since I lost my husband to a sudden and unexpected heart attack so I know what you are going through. I also lost my mum 3 weeks before Colin so a double whammy Life will never be the same again and the loss and void in your life is unbearable but we get through it somehow.
Thanks for you reply. I have cried so much, I’ve had to do everything when it came to his funeral. It feels as though everything was on my shoulders. One day when I viewed him in the chapel of rest, I just wanted to get in the coffin with him and die. He was diagnosed with Bile Duct Cancer on the 29th of Nov. He only made it for 2 weeks. Just feel as though I might as well die now.
I know, that’s how I felt as well. When I saw Colin lying there I just wanted to bring him home with me & tuck him into bed & warm him up. I also just wanted to be with him & thought what was the easiest way to achieve that goal as I am sure you have as well. It is the shock of it happening so quickly & suddenly, you are on auto pilot arranging everything then after the funeral when the cards & visitors stop that’s when you realise you are truly on your own. You miss the life you had with him & the future looks so bleak without him. The New year was hell for me starting a new year on my own without the love of my life. I was Mums main carer so after she went Colin & I thought we had our life back & we were going to do so much then BAM he was gone 3 weeks after Mum. I have days that I cry non stop & rage at the injustice of it all then other days I can cope a bit better. Do you have anyone to support you? I am lucky my family & friends are amazing, I could not get through it without them. I also have a wee dog & it is her that makes me get out of bed in the morning or I probably wouldn’t bother. We all grieve in different ways & handle things differently but you will get there, what other choice do we have eh!
It sounds like you’ve had it pretty bad to. I have my parents who are elderly. Some residents where I live have told me I can always go and talk to them, but I just don’t want to. I have some days what are better then others. I’m also very angry with the hospital and that they could of done more. I’m going to move back with my parents soon which will be company, and they have a dog who’s always barking and doing something mad. I’ll also be closer to my partner’s grave, which is what I want,only a 5 min walk. at the moment it’s 15 min drive. I just need to be near him
I am glad you still have your parents even if they are elderly they will still be a comfort and as you say company for you. The daft dog will make you smile as well, they sense when you are upset. I know what you mean about the Hospital and you will still have been in shock from the diagnosis when he went so suddenly it’s good you will be nearer the grave as well so you can visit him and chat to him whenever you want. How old was your partner?
My partner was 72 I’m 50. I’m glad someone else thinks that I will be better of moving back home.it just feels like everything had been on my shoulders for the last 6- 8 weeks. And now I’m having to do all the moving and get that sorted out.
72 is no age these days is it, Colin was 67 and you at 50 left without your partner is so sad. I am 60 and all I can see are empty years in front of me without the love of my life and hope I can join him soon.
At least if you go home you will be supported and the daily interaction with your parents will help fill your days. I am clearing out mums house at the moment for it going on the market so like you I know it’s a lot to shoulder. Once you get settled in back home I am sure you will feel a bit better. You will still be heart broken and feel like but the pressure of being on your own will be gone.