Lost my partner

Lost my babygirl ( dog) and 8wks later found my partner passed away wasnt sick or anything, ended up been his heart clot never knew had the muscle stopped beating through it, We have 3 grown up kids, I suffer PTSD, Insomnia, Anxiety and Panic Attacks for years and I never even got to grieve for our babygirl she was with me every second then to lose Paul has broken me but I am blanking it, not accepting it, Acting brave, Nothing is triggering it to be real, I still wash his clothes to keep them fresh, Funeral Yes I cried but when we took the ashes home and put them right beside our babygirl’s ( Dog of 13yrs), thats not even triggered anything, I have emailed loads including Sue Ryder for help as has my GP but cant get anywere

Andrea, i’m sorry that you lost both your dog and you partner. I’m sorry too you haven’t had a response from your GP and Sue Ryder. It worth trying again to see if you get a result.
Keep posting on the forum, as the people on here do understand how raw it all can feel.
Take care.

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Thank you so much, Its killing me this pain and I have to mask it from the kids, My GP has been great rven he contacted cruse and Sue Ryder and nothing then Sue Ryder said list and its longer, I suffer MH as it is and the effects is killing my PTSD, But they dont seem to care, I know I am not the only person needing help but with my history of 3 times tryn to take me life in 6yrs they dont seem to worry how I end up, I told my GP on google both Sue Ryder and Cruse workers if you go private could seen ( well on phone or video) me straight away, I have such bad anxiety and panic attacks I dont leave the house this was caused by accident 6yrs ago, so phone is fine for me, butvI am registered disabled and cant work so its more money I cant afford, its a roller coaster that I want off but The pain I watched myself,kids and 700/800 family/friends go through in 9wks Stops me, I can control that were as Paul didnt choose to go, It all just is overwhelming, Thank you seriously for your kind words :revolving_hearts::revolving_hearts:

Hi Andrae, I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve lost your partner shortly after also losing your dog, and that you are struggling with PTSD and other issues. When you say that you’ve contacted Sue Ryder, do you mean that you have contacted our Online Bereavement Counselling Service? We do currently have a waiting list for this service, but people are generally being seen within a month or two and we have just taken on additional counsellors, which should mean that we will work through the waiting list faster. If you are not already on the waiting list, you can join by emailing online.counselling@sueryder.org.

If you need to talk to someone in the meantime, The Samaritans are available 24/7 on 116 123.

Do you have a crisis plan or anyone you can contact following your previous suicide attempts? If you ever feel that you are at risk of harming yourself, it’s really important that you call 999 or contact your GP for an emergency appointment - they can help keep you safe until you can access counselling or further support.

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Thabk you for the reply, Yes I am on the list, My Gp rings me weekly as hes worried it will go pearshaped and hes tryimg his best to get Sue Ryder, Cruse and Luton wellbeing to help me, But of course I am not the only one on the list, But waiting 5/6wks now is unreal, with my background, Also the Virus has nothing to do with this as even GP stated its an excuse, Plenty working from home, Same ones registered with the above named 3 yet cant get anywhere unless you agree to pay private then they have a day, date, time wanted, But thank you for your advice, Its a waiting game again thank you :revolving_hearts:

Unfortunately our counselling service is not a crisis service, so if you do need help more immediately, especially with suicidal thoughts, it is best to contact the Samaritans, or 999 if you’re at immediate risk. Or see this information from Sane about what to do in a crisis: http://www.sane.org.uk/what_we_do/support/crisis

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Sorry I dont understand why the need to belittle me Where did I state I felt that or wanted to take me life??, Shocking reply to give to anyone, Not one place did I state any of that I said I had 3times in the pass 6yrs, last been 2.5yrs ago, Never came on here asking anything about crisis team, If Gp thought I needed that then thats what I would have but I dont, I am shocked abd sickened with your reply😡

How dare you make me feel like this when not once did I say I neededhelp asap or crisis, I explained if you pay private theres no lists but through Gp there is, This is screenshot and will be emailed to headoffice and my GP, Never felt so insulted

I’m so sorry that you found my answer belittling. I was responding to your point that you feel you need to be seen quickly due to your background of previous suicide attempts - unfortunately, our service is not best placed to support with such urgent cases. If you’re not currently in this situation, then our counselling service can support you, but, I’m afraid there will be a wait, as this is a free service and does have limited resources.

If you do wish to report this post to head office, of course, you can make a complaint, and someone more senior will review my response to you.


Everyone feels the needs for fast help, I just happen to state Sue Ryder and Cruse werent taking into account someone with already MH issues, I have to be listed like everyone else, Am no different, I only stated about my past due to the fact i need grieve counselling and GP had rven tried and yous also have stated yous have added more counsellors, Am done with this cant deal with the stress you statement has caused me you were out of order and No I dont meed crisis team if I did they would of already been here or on phone

sadly every one who seeks out this site having lost a partner,feels the need for extra help.
though counselling will not help some or many,its offered and is free ,so we all have to join the queue.no one deserves to jump the queue.regarding 5/6 wk wait i had wait 6 months before my talking therapies started.
you do a great job Priscilla.thanks for all the help you give every day.


Dear Andrae, I am truly sorry for your losses but I feel I must step up in defence of Priscilla. Your attack on her was not necessary. Priscilla and her team are a godsend on this site. I’m sorry you can’t get the counselling you need but there are many in the same situation and some have had to wait months. You may find that reading posts on this forum and perhaps responding, if you want to, can be a form of counselling in itself. I know I have. We’re all in the same boat of grief and you will find nothing but understanding and love from the many fellow grievers here. Take care. xx


I never stated I deserved to jump any que at all, I stated thats so far how long I am waiting but if I go private to the same companies and donate money will be seen asap, Hence now waiting on a 12 midday appointment, I never once stated about taken my life it was the support advisor on here that did, We are yes all different plus wait all different times for help/appointments, And as I found out money talks, If I needed crisis team my GP would know as states before he calls me once a week and is trying his best to get me counsellor. So No I dont deserve to be seen before anyone else but I also dont deserve to belittled

I never attacked her I told her I never stated wanted to take my life or need crisis team, Seems like its all clickie in here unless you have been a member longer then you have no rights to free speech, I state as you can see 3 times in 6yrs tried to take my life, they onow my MH background and its awful the waiting times, That does not deserve to be ganged up on by the ones that have, Support Yeah this is amazing suppose accusing me of attacking an advisor then its ok for yous to gang up on me, Cheers duly noted dont speak unless your in the click

please re read your comments ,then ask your self would you be happy about being the one receiving those comments you wrote.im guessing not,as you have taken replies as attacks when the only one attacking anyone is you.you have issues send a private message,rather than voice them on here.hope you can find a like minded person to help you.
others will offer you help.but sadly you dont seem see anything being written as helpful to you.take care and stay safe.


Gosh! What an attitude! What is it you’re looking for Andrae? Nobody is ganging up on you and you are more than welcome here on this forum. It is not clicky at all and there are many recent newcomers to the site who are hopefully getting helpful support. As Ian has suggested, perhaps re read your posts as they do appear rather irrational. Perhaps we could start again Andrae as there are many wonderful people on this site all ready to offer love and support.


Hi everyone,

Thanks very much for your comments, I appreciate the support. However, let’s leave the here now, as otherwise it will detract from Andrae’s original conversation and prevent supportive replies from happening.

Andrae - I’m very glad to hear you are not having suicidal thoughts. If you do want to make a complaint, that is absolutely fine. Would you like me to forward your comments to my manager on your behalf, or would you prefer to submit a complaint form yourself?

And, just to clarify, in case anyone reading might have misunderstood, we do not offer the option to be seen faster by our counselling service by donating money. It is quite likely someone could be seen faster by paying for a private counsellor, but that would be an entirely separate counsellor or counselling organisation and is not something offered by Sue Ryder.


I can’t believe what you are saying and I must defend the team on here. If that is sticking up for them and being cliquey, then I am sorry. Grief or not, there is no excuse for such a bitter reply to someone who is trying to help you.
You will think I am patronising you now. If so, that is a shame but I will say what I was going to say and that is, please take a few minutes to calm down. Have a coffee and just try to take on board that everyone here is trying to help you, but they are not here to be abused.

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Sorry people - I have just seen the date of this post and had not noticed it before. It popped up when I was looking for something else and I didn’t notice the date. My apologies to all concerned and I will be quiet now!

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