Lost my partner

I lost my partner of 11 years this week it was very sudden and totally unexpected. I hate having this terrible feeling of pain and fear in the pit of my stomach. Is it normal to feel that you just can’t go on by yourself. I know it’s very early days for me but I just can’t think straight and nothing is making any sense to be at all. He was only 58


Im so sorry for your loss, i lost my husband 3 months ago he was 54 we’d been together 12 years, i actually went to see my doctor because i thought there was something wrong physically wrong with me and i was having panic attacks, the doctor told me it was grief, it is hard and very raw, i found talking to him helps i tell him about my day and what ive been up to, although i cant listen to music. You will be OK xx


Thank you for your response. Like yourself I’ve had a few little panic attacks. I find myself with a lot of mixed emotions I feel loss and I also feel sorry for myself and I feel anger that he went and left me I am sorry for your loss also and I truly hope that you will be ok xx


Hi to both of you.

My partner died suddenly last year, and I can relate to what you are both feeling. Anything you feel in these circumstances is utterly normal. I have felt real anger at my partner for dying so young - he didn’t look after himself. Fear, bewilderment - you name it.

I hope you both have support available from family and friends - use it. Talk about your feelings - talk to your lost husbands and tell them how you feel. Take it a minute at a time - you will cope and it will get better, although you will still love and long for them.
Try to look after yourselves as much as possible. The old adages of fresh air, exercise and proper food do work. They keep you stronger, and you need that. Accept help.

All the best



Hi, I’m really sorry for your loss. What you are feeling is completely ‘normal’. I lost my husband 6mths ago, at just 54, and have had panic attacks (a paper bag really helps), huge weight loss, and feelings of utter terror, and despair. I have been angry at him for leaving me, and angry at me for losing him. I talk to him all the time. Tha panic attacks don’t come so often now, you will get there, but it’s a tough road, it gets a little easier to bear, one day at a time :heartpulse:

Aly T I lost my wife 6 weeks ago and what you are feeling right now is very normal I have gone and still going through the the very same emotions I do my best to appear “OK” when friends and family ask how am I doing (I really want to scream how do you think I am doing) it’s only when you experience the loss of your sole mate that you realise what a poor choice of words this question is,

It’s given me great support reading these letters when you realise that we are all experiencing just how bad the loss of a sole mate really is and it’s a normal reaction to feel as we do. There has not been a single day when I am home alone that the tears are not flowing like a tap

I take as much support from friends and family as I can and look forward to the time when I can smile at the wonderful memories my wife and I shared together but until that day comes I try and take each day at a time Sending hugs

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Hi sorry for your loss , it’s 8 months for me my husband was also 58 know how you are feeling they say it’s normal don’t feel very normal dost it , hope you have family to support you take care x

Your right there when people ask how your feeling I’m sure they expect you to say I’m ok and I get so annoyed when they say stay strong knowing they are going home to their loved one like yourself I feel like screaming
I’m trying to take it one day at a time but it’s just so hard


AlyT .big hugs to you

Thank you It’s just so hard and unfair that’s how I’m feeling at the moment

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I just feel life is so unfair at the moment especially as I never had time to say a proper goodbye. But thank you for your kind words

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