My partner passed away just over 5 weeks ago after he caught an infection, I was his carer for about 7 years and I feel like I have lost my purpose in life, i am always questioning myself that if I had have done more for him and kept a closer eye on him he would still be here today. Since loosing him I have had my birthday and Valentine’s Day and just feel really lonely as he is not here to celebrate them with me.
This is my second time of losing a loved one as my husband died in 2008. I feel like I have done something wrong in my life to have to deal with all this grief over again.
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So sorry for your loss. I cared for my husband at home and was busy all day looking after him. Now i just sit there in his chair with nothing to do anymore. I think the same too that could i have cared for him better, it is an awful time but being on this site has helped me a lot as we all know how bad this is and can help each other. take care and don’t be hard on yourself x
I’m really sorry for your loss. It must be very hard on you. You have done nothing wrong. You said yourself, you cared for him. We all wonder if we could have done more. It seems to me, that is part of the grieving process.
We all understand that feeling of loneliness. We all understand that feeling of having no purpose. Just be kind to yourself. Take each day as it comes.
Come on here, talk to others in the same position, it helps.
In 10 days time it will be 3 months since I lost my husband. I talk to him. I scream at him. I cry over him. I even laugh when I remember certain things about him.
I don’t know what I would’ve done with out the help from people on here.
Sending hugs
I lost my lovely wife five weeks ago. I gave up work and cared for her at home for three years.
Throughout that time, I felt like a fish out of water; stressing about everything, convinced i wasnt looking after her well enough, despite my wife telling me i was doing great.
I did everything i possibly could to give her a comfortable life and keep her out of the hospice.
Its only now that i recognise that i did everything i possibly could and nothing i could have done would have saved her from a terminal illness.
All through my wife’s illness, I felt i was being punished as well as her. She nearly died two years ago and she said it was me who pulled her through.
Susan was desperately ill at the end but a couple of days before, she told me i had done a fantastic job,that she loved me more than ever and that she was so proud of me. She made me promise that i would look after myself and live a good life after she had gone.
Its early days, i think its a natural part of grieving to look back at the horrors of illness and dwell on the what ifs, but i do believe we were blessed to have almost 40 years together and that is what i need to concentrate on.
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I think that’s a lovely way to look at it.
We all believe that we will never get past this. It’s not a matter of forgetting them. It’s learning to live as a single unit, the best you can.
If anything changes in the future and you meet someone else. That does not take away the love you had for the one you lost. Nobody will ever replace them.
We have to live in honour of their memory and be the best version of ourselves we can be, without them next to us physically. They will always be by our side, spiritually
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