I lost my sister 8 weeks ago to oesophageal cancer. She was 44. She was diagnosed in February as terminal as it had already spread around her body. She left behind a 13yo daughter who now lives with us (my husband and son). I don’t cry. I feel like I switched off my emotions so I didn’t go into panic mode and they never switched back on. She was my best friend. We did everything together and now I feel lost.
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I’m so sorry for the loss of your sister, @Joan2. Your loss is so recent and you have so much else to cope with that it’s completely understandable you’re feeling like your emotions are switched off. You might find it helpful to read our guide called, “What does grief feel like?” to help you understand some of what you might be going through.
You are not alone. Sadly, many of our members have experienced the loss of a sibling. @Stewart1912 and @Sister2 are two members who have lost their sisters to cancer, too - maybe you would like to chat to them.
When you are ready, you might wish to consider bereavement counselling. We offer free online bereavement counselling which is held via video chat. Your GP can also refer you to counselling or other grief support.
I hope you find the community to be a support to you. Keep reaching out and take care,
Seaneen
Hi Joan2-So sorry for your loss. I also lost my younger sister to cancer, and I have never been the same from that one night that changed everything. I understand switching off emotions. When my Sister was first diagnosed I, along with all of her friends and colleagues tried to remain positive and hopeful around her. My Sister set the mood, she was amazing, never complained, made it clear she did not want to be seen as a “cancer patient” and went out shopping all day 2 days before she died. My Sister was also the best friend I ever had. We were in touch everyday, many times a day, we shared all of our thoughts and dreams, laughed and cried together, went on holiday together, and we celebrated our birthdays together every year. I finally cried (sobbing until I could not catch my breath) alone in my house when I returned from the hospital after watching my beloved little Sister take her last breath. The floodgates opened, and it will happen for you too, when you are ready. You cannot force it. I also understand feeling lost. It is like falling into a deep, dark, cold hole. It has been longer for me, and all I can say is that you must allow yourself whatever emotions arise, no right or wrong way to grieve. My Sister did not have children, and I often wish I had a niece or nephew that would at least be a lasting part of her. Take care and keep posting, there are others here who are very kind and caring. The good folks on this forum have helped me just by letting me express my pain without fear of judgement. Sorry for long post. With Sympathy Xxx Another Sad Sister
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