Lost My Sister to Covid & My Mam to Alzheimers

Coping with bereavement
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Hi all, I’m really struggling with my Grief, I’m dealing with Double grief, My Mam was diagnosed with Alzheimers 12 Years ago at the Young age of 52, she lived at home for the first 6 Years then she broke her hip in residential care home, she was in Hospital for 7 Weeks following her hip surgery, she never walked again and was discharged to a Nursing care home 5 Years ago, My Sister was my main support, we helped eachother stay strong through Mams decline, then Covid hit 2020, we were unable to visit Mams carehome, we had video calls and eventually allpwed to visit outdoors standing over 2 metres away from her or standing behind a glass screen, we had no physical connection, hugs, kisses or hold her hand for over a Year, It was an awful time for us, then my Sister got Covid in December 2021, she was struggling at home for a Week before being taken to Hospital, she was on Cpap machine for a few Days before being take to intensive care and put on life support, ventilator and dialysis, her body couldn’t fight. We were called to her bedside at 4am for them to turn her machines off and we lost her. She was 38…Absolutely heartbreaking. For the past 21 Months since losing my Sister my mental health has deteriorated, i started on medication and councelling, my Mam had numerous seizures and 3 bouts of pneumonia in that time, she had covid and pulled through each time, her swallowing declined further and she lost the ability to swallow her medication and fluids/meals. 2 Weeks ago she was put on a syringe driver to keep her comfortable, she stayed on it for 11 Days before passing away. It is her funeral tomorrow, doing all of this without my Sister is so difficult and my grief is so overwhelming I cannot bear it.

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Hello @Rhian ,

I can see that you’re new to the community, so I wanted to say that I am so sorry for the double loss of your sister and mam that brings you here. The grief you are feeling must be incredibly overwhelming for you right now, especially as you prepare yourself for the funeral tomorrow.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that may help right now.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,

Alex

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Hello
I’m very sorry to read what you have been put through. I can’t relate to your experience as I haven’t lost any family members through covid but I did lose my Nan through Alzheimer’s one year after I lost my mum. It’s something I’ll never forget as long as I live.
My Nan was 97 years old when I lost her she died in hospital but before that she had lost her home my parents and I went to her home to empty all her possessions and furniture from the 1940s. It was gut wrenching going through all her much loved possessions not to mention throwing out stuff she had hoarded for years. I did not feel right removing her possessions I did not have the right I still don’t to just rifle through everything. I had kept many treasured possessions I still have today it’s like i was just want to hold onto them it keeps me close to my lovely Nan
My parents put her in a care home that she swiftly deteriorated in. It was a good care home some of them my Nan could of gone to you could see residents with their heads hanging down. We didn’t want that for my Nan she deserved better. As time went on Everytime I visited her she’d never forgotten my name it made me smile knowing Alzheimer’s hadn’t got her completely
I hate Alzheimer’s it’s a cruel horrific disease that takes your relative at any age. I get angry when I hear they have found medication that can slow Alzheimer’s down in my nans case it came way to late. You’d think with all the money in the world and the technology we have we’d have at least found a cure for Alzheimer’s but we can make nuclear weapons to destroy ourselves.
I fear a cure will never be found for Alzheimer’s it’s so very sad