Lost my sister

My beautiful big sister died on 27 February after a year long cancer battle. She was 10 years older than me so looked after me when i was a baby. We then became such good friends. With my other sister, we were such a tight threesome. She always had my back and was the most supportive and kind person.
I don’t know what to do with my grief, it’s almost unbearable. I just can’t comprehend that she’s gone, no more laughing, sharing or chatting with her. Life feels so incredibly difficult and all the joy has gone.

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I am so sorry for the loss of your sister, i understand how you are feeling as i lost my husband January this year from terminal cancer. try and take one day at at a time ,this is what i try to do .Take care of yourself.

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Thank you. Its so tough, just carrying such sadness everywhere.
Sending best wishes back to you.
A xx

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Thank you. Yes i think i will be reading lots on here. It really is such a difficult time and it helps to see how others cope and live wich such sadness.
Best wishes to you
A xx

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Im so sorry for your loss. I too lost my sister in January. She was 8 years older than me snd like you, she was my guide, my best friend, my secret keeper , my protector my constant. She died suddenly from a brain haemorrhage. My world imploded and struggling beyond words. She was also the last of my family. I have no children so the worst for me is the sudden feeling that I’ve been abandoned. I can’t beleive that my whole family has gone. We have to find a way through and I’m going to try to honour her by looking after myself , go on holiday, see friends and do as much as i can while having the privilege of still being alive. It’s a real slog and is exausting just trying . I am so broken. I hope you find your way and try to take comfort in knowing you are not alone. Biggest hugs to you

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Hugs to you Amanda , know exactly how your feeling and what your going thru .
So many sad people and awful unnecessary losses.
Thinking of you x

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I lost my sister suddenly and unexpectedly last year. She was 9 years older than me and very much took on a motherly role. She lived an hour from me, we spoke numerous times a day. I have a brother but he is very much head in the sand ignoring things and he doesnt speak about things.

Ive described her here before as my home. She was my home, my security, my safety.

It was and is completely overwhelming and i totally feel your pain.

I cant really say anything thatll help but what i had to do was take an hour at a time. Never mind a day. Im a secondary school teacher so it was very much.“i can get to the end of this period”, then “i can get to break time”, then lunch time. Then gradually the gaps got bigger. There are days when it becomes an hour at a time again but let it be like that. Whatever you need to do to survive.

Sending hugs :people_hugging:

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Sorry for the delay replying. Thanks so much for your words. I’m trying to take each day as it comes but so hard.
People say it’s the price of love but doesnt really help.
Best wishes, Amanda

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Hi, thanks so much for getting in touch. It helps knowing you’re not alone but it really is such a whirlwind of feelings and challenges.
Sending you love and strength,
Amanda xx

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Hello, what you describe i can totally relate to. The feelings of loss, not just the person but of yourself. I too feel out of place in the world without my greatest supporter.
I hope it gets easier with time but i almost dont want it to. I just want her back.
Sending you so much love and best wishes.
Regards, Amanda

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Oh gosh, you have described exactly how i feel, just lost and homeless, adrift without my usual anchors. I am trying to do exactly as you suggest, literally day by day and sometimes hour by hour. When the grief gets overwhelming i go with it and try and breathe my way through it. Its so hard though and it pops its head up all the time.
I just miss her so much and really cant believe she’s gone.
Sending you love, hugs and huge best wishes
Amanda xx

It is very difficult Amanda and there are no answers for us. All we can do is put one foot in front of the other and hope that we kind of get used to this new and very strange way of life we now find ourselves in. The pain is crippling me, but she wouldn’t want me to feel this way so i hold that thought and will keep trying. I do so hope that you, me, and all the others on here can learn to smile again soon and find our way through. Don’t give up, keep going and look after yourself xx

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Hi Amanda. I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your sister. I understand the immensity of your pain. I lost my sister suddenly on 29 March 2024 due to a seizure. The pain and the waves are unbearable. A whole shared sibling history completely shattered and no future to experience. We grasp desperately to unlock and relieve those past memories shared. It is cruel.

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Thank you for your message and I’m so sorry you also lost your sister. You capture so well the immense sadness of the loss. I feel like no one shares the millions of memories and experiences like she did. Also, as you say, the loss of future experiences is unberearable to think about. We had so many little plans. I’m back in numb land as the pain is too much and I keep reminding myself it’s early days but it is incredibly hard to keep going sometimes. I send you all my best wishes and hope you continue to find the strength. It’s all we can do xx

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Hello Amanda,

I am so sorry for your loss, our older siblings have a special place in our heart. My brother was 4 years older than I was and was more than a brother, he was also like a father to me because our father was at sea most of the time. There was also a time when the money was short and our mother was also working. No matter how old we were, he was my brother and my father. He never complained and took me along everywhere. Siblings being so close does not happen often. None of my friends were that close with their brothers. Perhaps it was the four year age gap. - Well, I read you had a similar relationship with your older sister. It makes it so much harder to cope now.

If you find it hard to cope: My bother and I used to visit Kentwell Hall’s special events after our mother died in October 2006. We went there for years, 2007 to 2019. It is a Tudor manor house in Long Melford Suffolk. Have a look when you feel down again. It will make a difference, it helped us tremendously. - https://www.kentwell.co.uk/ (CO10 9BA) - They have have Tudor recreations during the warmer months.

(I would put a link of my photo gallery on here but it is only http: and not https: - not that makes any difference if you only visit and do not log in.)

I wish I could write something that would make you feel better right now. - Nick