My son sam complained of a pain in his back. 4 months he was gone. He had sarcoma a rare cancer in his thigh .it had gone to his bones and lungs. He passed end of april.he was 25 in march. There are no words to describe this pain i feel everyday.sam was very homely and just mixed with his sister and three children .he was there superhero and ours. He never once moaned he is the bravest boy i know. I just dont know how to get through this without him .we was so close. This life is to cruel .sams mum zoe
Dear Zoe
I’m so desperately sorry you’ve lost your lovely son Sam. He sounds such a sweet soul - and so brave in the face of such a devastating situation.
I lost my son Henry two years ago yesterday, he was 30.
So I understand your pain…agony actually and mixed with shock, anger and disbelief. It’s crippling. I hope you’re finding support from friends and family.
If only I could help you 
just take each hour at a time…I found walking and gardening, being outside and working in my little greenhouse to distract me helpful. But some days I just sat in the chair crying 
there’s no right or wrong to it. Slowly and I mean slowly you will learn to understand your grief a bit…it will soften and you will find a way to accommodate it.
Sam will be carried in your hearts until you meet again. Keep posting - you will find such kind people here.
Much love and warm hugs
Purple
Hi purple thankyou for your lovely message.so sorry about your son Henry, this life is very cruel . Nothing makes sense. Im so angry . Sam past in his sleep at home . But although so peaceful such a shock. He was my baby ,my son ,my life .why did they need to take him . I do try potter in the garden .i hope i find comfort on here thank you for taking the time to reply love zoe
Just laying in bed so sad .this pain is horrific i miss my boy sam so much. I know now theres so many of us with this terrible ache this awfull empty feeling .why do these terrible things happen. Its not right. What is this life about .my heart is broken .zoe
Hi zoe9
Hope you managed to get some sleep.
I hear your pain and I agree it’s all too awful and it’s not right . I miss my son so much also ,every minute of every day and my heart is broken into bits. I keep thinking there must be a solution, there is always a solution . Life is always throwing things at us and it all gets sorted in the end, it always has done , but I feel there is no way out of this is there.? It’s like a different reality and I don’t know how this reality works. I am just plodding along trying to feel my way around all this ,hoping there is some sense somewhere to it all, some reasoning.
All we can do is hang on in there as best we can, but it’s so gut wrenching and desperate. Some how in this journey it’s got to get more bearable, it just has to. , thinking of you . Jss x
It has too.like you say its unbearable . Today with my grandchildren .but life is like a blur going over your head .just cant believe im never going to talk to sam again. Laugh act silly .im 60 in november was going to celerbrate but now what do you do .this life we live i dont get
It. Its to much pain zoe xx
1 Like
Dear Zoe9
I understand how hard your 60th will be. I was 60 in the December following Henry’s death in October 2019. The last thing I felt like doing was celebrate. My family and friends rallied round as best they could but I was so sad and broken it was impossible to be excited and happy
I went on a pre booked holiday in the January and it was bearable- just being in a different environment it did somehow give some perspective on life but I still carried so much pain then which was raw and still so fresh.
Do what feels right for you…I’m so sorry Sam can’t share the day but he will always be with you.
Sending love
Purple
Hi purple you give me some hope that time will heal this awful ache .this terrible pain .thank you for your kind word .i should imagine Henry would be so proud love zoe
Im sitting here and cant believe this is all real sam has gone .this time last xmas i was putting a light on the hospice xmas tree for my mum . This year my son sam just 25 . Its just not right how can u just get wiped out with the dreaded rare sarcoma . I just want to hold him .it seems harder and harder 5 months sinced we had his funeral .its not right zoe
Hi zoe9 it’s so unbearable isn’t it. I was going around the shops today as it was getting later and some shops were closing the air was getting frosty ,walking through the streets getting darker, christmas decorations , just all the memories came flooding back of years in the past , my son was here then, why isn’t he here now! ?
How are we going to get through all this?
How innocent we were that such pain existed , innocence that’s now lost , spoilt, damaged , never can be repaired. Life can be so cruel. We just have to learn a new way of navigating this unfamiliar path. Don’t want to , but we don’t have a choice. Painfully climb over the rocks and hope for a smoother path somewhere in the future. In this group we will struggle on together hopefully giving each other a helping hand when we need it.
Thinking of you and sending love. Jss xx