Thank you Ann and Nell,
thank you for your kind words. I know it’s still raw for me…I expect it always will be. Sharing our grief with each other does help…knowing that we all understand how we feel. I know my partner means well as do all the others that ring, call round etc. I’d swap them all for 10 minutes with my son. Is that bad?
Sue xxx
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F
Dear Sue
Course it’s not bad.
No one and no thing is as important as your son.
Hug him in your heart.
Love 
Ann
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That’s not bad! It’s love and grief. It hurts. Don’t be hard on yourself. Grief makes you think the strangest things. It’s almost like a bargaining process, it’s part of grief. We want to go back to how it was, though we know we can’t. I’m sure lots of people on here will recognise thoughts like that. I certainly do. Sending you kindest thoughts. X
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Nell, what you say is so so true.
We all need to be kind to ourselves, us mums so easily feel guilt and doubt about ourselves, and we certainly don’t think straight.
Love to you and all the mums (and dads).
Ladys your still in the throws of trauma its such a shock . Nothing seems real and im afraid with grief comes anger. And no two people feel the same or .express there grief the same .my partner says nothing .dont like photos dont talk .many a day ive wanted to fight him .but ive learnt we all different .you just have to be kind to yourself. I cry shout and rant . I know sam would say mum come on chill out . Our babys they was in our tummys .a special bond. I dont like the new empty normal .but we cant change it .sending big hugs love zoe
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So right Ann, what a wonderful mother she is.
I feel like that too. Nothing else matters any more and I don’t really know how to act as my natural self is optimistic and upbeat but now I’m struggling xx
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It’s so hard isn’t it Elizabeth?
I’m having a really bad day today…just can’t stop crying. It’s knowing that I’ll never see Andrew again for as long as I live.
We drove to the coast yesterday, me and my partner. It was a beautiful day, the sea looked amazing but all I could see were hundreds of young men enjoying the sun, wearing shorts and sunglasses and I just sobbed as I thought “It should be Andrew!!”. He should be walking along with us and his dog like last summer. We were due to have a holiday together at this resort in a months time.
It was going to be so nice…lots of walks on the beach, lots of good food and now there’s NOTHING to look forward to.
I miss him more everyday…it’s 8 weeks today since he died. I still can’t imagine a life without him.
Sue xxxx
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I have been going for bereavement counselling and that’s exactly what I was saying this week, it’s like I keep getting hit with a sledgehammer saying you’ll never see Claire again!! Everything good, bad or indifferent I want to phone her and tell her but I can’t!! It’s been nearly 5 months now, she died very suddenly on Christmas Eve, and she still hasn’t gone out of my mind for even a second!! It’s exhausting and just so hard!! Xx
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Hello.
Nothing prepares us for losing a child of any age. How can I say this? … because my 36 year old son died late last year. Nothing prepared me for this. I grieve not just for my great loss, but for the dreams and plans he will never be able to achieve.
I really do understand and all I do is say, here is a huge hug to get you through today.
Tomorrow is a new da. W,ho knows what it might bring but the hurt remains. There are no rules about grieving and no cure, just time and eventual acceptance of some kind. Rely on others for as long as you feel you need support.
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Thank you for answering xx Are you feeling any better a year later? Xx
Thank you.
8 long months and wondering what each new day will bring. I know that time does allow us to accept, but I feel a long way from that yet.
Some days , such as today, I just cry so much but can’t explain why?
How are you doing? x
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It has been one and a half years since I lost my youngest son. I still think of him every minute of every day. I still get those punches in the guts and the horror that Paul is dead. I still think I cannot do this live without him. There is nothing I can say to help your pain. There are a lot of us walking around broken and wondering why my child. All I can say is I am so sorry for your pain and that you are not alone in this.
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Thank you Fran11
Sometimes it helps just a little to know thar despite how we feel, we are not alone.
I saw some words the otber day that hit.me so hard but, on reflection afterwards, they are so true … " There are some journeys you just have to make alone".
Others do try to support and understand but the reality is that grief is a very persomal and incredibly lonely road with seemingly no adequate words to express the feelings .
Distraction can help a little but some thoughts keep recurring when they are least expected.
I hope you have found support from people on here and that each day is mainly bearable for you. x
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I have never seen your reply to me before. Thank you so much. I gave up as I do not get notifications for replies on here. You are so right in your reply thank you xx