My wife of 19 years passed away in October after 5 years for deteriorating ill health. Feeling empty and worried about the future
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I’m sorry for your loss. I can feel your pain and anxiety in your words. I lost my mother in October after caring for her the last 17 years. I feel so alone and directionless. It’s as if I’ve fulfilled my purpose in life and there is nothing to look forward to…
These words have given me some comfort. ’ living in the past will invite depression; living in the future will invite anxiety; living in the present will invite peace of mind.’
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@Ant33 so sorry for your loss of your beloved wife. i lost my husband who i was with 20 years in september after a shocking diagnoses of cancer just 5 weeks prior 
i too feel so so empty and petrified of the future… it’s such a scary/painful thing to go through.
I feel your pain. Having looked after my wife full time for the last couple of years my days seem long and empty.
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I felt like that last year and still do
I do not really know how I got through the first year. My garden was my lifeline I think.
I made a mess of trying to do other things as can’t concentrate well.
The cat was a mixed blessing really. My son’s struggling like me all fumbling along.
My grandsons so lovely and best at distracting me.
I hated shopping and didn’t want to go out preferred on line or on zoom.
Struggled few times had to socialize. Ok one to one. Couldn’t make decisions. All over the place. Endless things he used to do had to attempt.
Feeling very scared.
Other people’s dogs helped. They seem to know and come up for a pat.
So neighbours would chat.
But I forced myself to go to the groups we used to go to before the pandemic frightened really would catch COVID as frightening on your own imagining it. Had to shield him so long or his life would have been even shorter. I think part of my grieving happened before as he was just going down hill.
I went on my own and sat on a table with people from a bingo group who were widows and one widower sat next to me and he said was too soon after my husband died as he said it took him two years to go out. I said well having a chat helps as my husband had been with me last time we went there. I was glad I went. I had a nice time.
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I lost my husband after 4 weeks of diagnosis in july it does get so much harder as you realise they are no longer with you, people that havnt lost what you have can sympathise with you but never understand the pain your going through 
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@Donnadon so sorry for your loss! shaun lost his battle just 6 weeks after being told he had cancer it’s just unbelievable isn’t it how quick someone can be taken so sudden and cruelly xx
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It is chris was 46 we been together 29yrs he didnt smoke or drink and i am finding it so hard to come to terms with its just a massive shock to come to terms with, your with someone everyday for all them years now they not here, its very cruel xx
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I found Christmas very hard. Hazel loved it, pantos with the grandchildren, lots of lights (too many I used to say!) and the tree of course was her baby. Everyone rallied around me but the emptiness was immense. New Year is going to be the same I guess.
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@Donnadon same as shaun never smoked/drunk, he regularly done half marathons and used to run 5 miles a day before work… he had a few stomach pains so took him to a+e on our daughters 9th birthday to be told the next day he had stage 4 cancer we would of been together 20 years in october just gone…
i just can’t believe how cruel life is…
i’m petrified of the future alone without him! and so hurt for our children growing up without their hero… xx
Its just not fair is it, same as chris treated him for type 2 diabetes and a pain in his side dr sent him to hosp found a blood clot then rang him on a fri to say they would ring him back as they found something on his pancreas they didnt ring back until the wed to tell us, when we got called in on the 6th june they told us it had spead but ther was a chance of a biopsy and chemo it never happened he was just to poorly how old are the kids? Its them that keep u going xx
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I have 3 kids 2 older 1 young and xmas day was awful it dragged i couodnt wait for it to be over my little one had an amazing day, its hard thia time of year and new year you think its just another year without them its very hard 
i feel that people are so neglected and things missed when they could of been caught. shaun went to a liver specialist the week before going to a+e and the specialist didn’t do anything and said for him to go to a+e if got worse.
week later told he had cancer in the bowel, liver, lungs and lymph nodes 
we were told he could have chemo but the cancer was too far gone and was just about prolonging, then the same day he had to be rushed to emergency surgery to have bowel, appendix, colon removed so this delayed the chemo… then told he could have palliative chemo. waited for apt with oncologist and they didn’t show up. next day told liver had completely shut down and he had to decide where to spend his last few days, all in just 5 weeks?
kids are 9, 16, 19 xx
Sounds so similar chris was due a biopsy the day i had to ring an ambulance its just so shocking how they can miss these things, mine are 28, 26, 8 and i have to say the 8yr old his strength is absolutely amazing they defo give you a purpose in life xx
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@Donnadon yes faith is the same (my 9 year old) she literally keeps me going everyday! she is so loving and happy. talks about her dad every single day and always makes us all smile xx
They are amazing harley dont speak about his dad much i think he thinks it will upset me and hes so protective but iv told him its good to talk about him and his nana, i think sometimes forget how strong kids are xx
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bless him! they’re so innocent and pure aren’t they? i hate myself for thinking i can’t get through this because she must be in so much pain herself… they’re beautiful little things aren’t they xx
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They are a lot stronger than we give them credit for, they are a blessing i never intended to have him as my 2 were older then decided i wanted another iv always said he was sent for a reason just not in a million years wouod i think it wouod be this, xx