Hi, I recently lost my wife and im feeling empty, lost and totally numb. Can’t sleep much either. People say time is a healer but I’m unsure of that as I can’t see a life without her. We were together for 32 years and should of been at least another 20 years as she was only 52 years old. I feel disappointed with myself and angry that she couldn’t tell me that she wasn’t feeling well and missed appointments for scannes which possibly given us longer together not sure why she couldn’t.
5 Likes
Hi Ferdy. I recently lost my partner in March of this year, we were a couple for 35 years. All the feelings you are going through is exactly how I and I , imagine everyone else on this site will have felt. Don’t feel disappointed and angry with yourself. My partner Theresa kept things close to her chest and did not like to burden anyone with things. Most people will look back and think, could I have done this or that, but I’m sure you would have done all you could for your wife. Take care.
3 Likes
Hi @Ferdy
I am so sorry for your loss and I hope you find this website provides comfort and reassurance.
I lost my wife in December 2024 suddenly to a heart attack, we had been married 48 years. Just like you I agonised over what I could have done, opportunities I missed, and all the other recriminations that go with losing the one person in your life who is irreplaceable.
If my wife didn’t tell me she wasn’t feeling well it was because she loved me and didn’t want to worry me. I think you can reasonably draw the same conclusion.
It’s early days for you and the standard (and good) advice is to concentrate on the essentials. Everything else can wait. Try to eat regularly even if the meals are small. Drink plenty of water and get what sleep you can.
Ever since my wife’s death I have felt her spirit has stayed with me. I regularly ask her advice and 90% of the time a solution to a problem is forthcoming. It’s all a question of faith I suppose but I think it’s worth being awake to the little signs. Taken in isolation they can easily be dismissed as coincidence but over time I’ve found they add up to something significant.
I’ve read quite a few books about spirituality and many people say that the path out of grief is to learn to love yourself. I think there is a lot of truth in that and I’m still working on it.
Keep posting, it’s very therapeutic.
3 Likes
Hi @Ferdy
I am sorry for what you are going through every thing you is perfectly normal in the early stages of grief. I lost my husband suddenly to a heart attack. We had been married for 36 years . Slowly it the fog starts to clear. And you do start to have better days also difficult days . I have found keeping bush and exercise helps .
I hope you will find this forum helpful.
Everyone here understands, as we are all on the same journey just in different stages of it . Look after yourself
3 Likes
@Ferdy Very good advice you’ve gotten here, I haven’t much to add, except welcome to the club no one wants to join. This site has been a lifesaver for me! Cindy 
2 Likes