Lost my wife

She passed away suddenly and unexpectedly in January 2021. We weren’t living together, but we were still close and had ideas of getting back together - the reality likely is that was never going to happen - because - reasons.

I was too late for her, it was about two-three days after she dropped out of contact, and I thought “Something’s really wrong” and went there; could not get into our home because she had carefully secured it behind her, but I knew she had to be in there.

So after a 999 call and a very kind young policeman, after some time between us we managed to gain access, and he found her. She had an underlying condition, and had a sudden heart attack, which must have been terrifying, but at least would also have been very quick.

For something over 12 months, I was more or less a zombie, doing what had to be done, sorting out a nice funeral for her, and making sure she got what I know she would have wanted. Then in February this year, I moved home, and have begun the process of starting a new life.


Hello Mercurymerlin

Thank you for putting your story up to share. You’ve had a hard time of it and I’m truly sorry for the loss of someone you loved.

You seem quite philosophical about things, which I’m sure isn’t true all of the time, but so pleased you are making a new life for yourself. I want to wish you well from us all at Sue Ryder. Please keep sharing your thoughts if you wish to; hearing how others progress in their own way through sorrow and pain is of great benefit to everyone on here.

Thinking of you,



Thank you.

Amongst other things, I am a philosopher.

I have ordered a headstone for her, I wrote an original poem to go on it (family know there’s a stone, but not the actual verse except for one cousin who was close to her). Should be installed by around November, all being well.

It’s the truth (maybe not /quite/ the whole of the truth, but you only put nice things on an epitaph). I think she would have liked it.

Light of our life
Dearly beloved wife
Always kind and good-hearted
Always happy and delighted

Sleep well – till we meet again


That is a beautiful epitaph, written in your own inimitable way I’m sure. Philosophy is a great assistance to getting through life, your depth shows in your writing. Good luck in the future.


Well done.