Lost My Wife

Coping with bereavement
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I lost my wife Ann on December 15th we was always together 24/7 we been together nearly 40 years we had us own computer shop she was at the front and I was at the back repairing them we thought she had a trapped nerve but it ended up being cancer and it was fast growing she went in to in hospital on 17th October and she came home on 29th November and she lost her life on the 15th December I’m just lost with out her i cry every single day i know Ann would not want that but i cant help myself i feel guilty why should i be still here and not Ann if it was not for our 3 children and grandkids I would follow but i cant leave them without any parents i hope this pain I’m going through it will get easier but I’m missing you Ann and I’m lost without you just don’t know how to get through this i love you Ann xx

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Hello @Glen1963 ,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling lost. I’m so sorry to hear about your wife. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,

Alex

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Glen1963. You are among people who truly understand here. It is natural to feel guilty for still being here when your loved one is not. I lost my wife to Covid in September. I tested positive at the same time as her but had no symptoms at all. I ask why couldn’t I have shared the symptoms? I cry every day - when I wake up, when I go to bed and lots of times between. I cannot tell you it will get better soon only that you are not alone.

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Thank you for your reply ive been told by my doctor i might be best to go to counselling one to one but i dont know if i can do that i know i need help as every day seems to be getting harder for me

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I am only 12 weeks in and I read the threads on this site for several weeks before I joined. It made me realise that the awful intense and overwhelming suffering I felt and still do was not unique but shared by all of us thrown into this situation none of us ever wanted. I let my grief come out as it cannot be contained. Everyone is different but the extreme sadness is universal. I have joined a bereavement group and find talking to others is helpful as everyone understands where you are coming from. It is not for everyone I suspect and finding a group is difficult. One to one counselling might help but you are at the beginning of this journey. Allow yourself time and space to grieve whatever else you do.

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thank you hope it will get better