I recently lost my wife in September and my god it’s hurts so much, I just wake up wishing that she is still sitting up in the bed and telling me she loves me but then reality sets in and it’s hard to deal with.
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So very sorry, Paul.
We are all here, listening and understanding. We are all in the same boat, paddling like mad.
Sending love and strength.
Xx
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Oh Paul my heart goes out to you. Those moments when reality hits are really awful - and they happen when you are least prepared, if you can be prepared in our situation.
Hazel
XX
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Paul, I became a widow on 9/24. It is a nightmare no one wants to have and I am so sorry for your loss. I am spinning in circles, talking gibberish, cleaning like a maniac, rushing through grocery stores, and I just want to be alone. My husband died in our bedroom, I can’t even look at that area. I am not eating, sleeping 5 hours a night only with the help of a prescription and so far have managed to keep the pets alive.
But, I am not crying. I live hour by hour and never think about the future I lost as I would crumble. I know my husband is gone. He is no longer in pain. He no longer is suffering. I know he isn’t ever returning, but when I think of it like that, my skin gets hot and tingles and I feel weak all over.
So, it is one hour at a time for me for now.
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My husband also died at home in our bedroom - I had to buy a new mattress and move the room around (which was difficult) as I just could not bear to see it as it was on that awful morning. I now have a photo up of him smiling and happy.
I try to do what PeachesDixon does and live hour by hour, but as I am by nature a planner it is a challenge … when I do think of the future I get the brick on the chest type of anxiety and I just dissolve. Everyone tells me to not to be too hard on myself - but I have no idea what that means! I just know that my life has changed forever - and it is the worst.
Hugs to you Paul, and everyone, this morning
Hazel
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sending my love to you all …i lost my patner in the 2nd September and the pain is unbearable i feel lost my best friend has gone my sole mate its very hard because i became a nan on the 3rd September so the feeling’s has been so overwhelming i just wish he had meet her he would of loved her so much i feel numb just wake up and say to myself enough day to get through
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Paul, so very sorry. Everyone is here for you.
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Yes constantly things pop up like that. I just said out loud several times, “but we were so very happy”, we really were and now I’m desolute.
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