Lost someone special

I lost someone who was very special to me
3 yrs it’s been and I haven’t grieved not once I was told I would never be able to grief because my body won’t let me that is what I was told by cruise.
I know he’s around me coz I notice different things and get signs. That keeps me going.
People say when you die a piece of you go with them that is very true but I have come to realise wherever I am and the battles I have to fight every single day that he is walking by my side.
Grief is a funny thing u can’t see it but u know it’s there…
You don’t know how to deal with it what is the right and wrong way when u are grieving for the people you love?
Iv been numb for so long I don’t want to cry but I just can’t get the tears out.so every morning a fake smile is put in my face and fake laughter that’s how u get through the day.
I hide myself away on bad days.
No one really know what others are going through they just see you u laughing and joking and think your over it… u never get over it u learn to live with it the best that u can??
I hate it when people see you then cross over then they don’t have to talk to you that doesn’t help it make it worse.

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Hi. krazy1406. Welcome. This is not at all uncommon. The inability to grieve properly affects so many. It’s as if our minds go into ‘neutral’. No longer connected to reality. We go into a kind of denial. We shut down emotions, not voluntarily but because the pain may be too much to cope with. Grief is a process. It’s Natures way of helping relieve a little of the stress that accompanies bereavement. There’s no right or wrong way. We all cope in our individual ways because we are all so much different to each other. Yes, learning to live with the pain is fine, but I feel we should also make an effort to begin a healing process. Life will never be the same again, of course not, but over time the pain does ease for most. But there are some, like yourself, for whom grieving is difficult. You can’t make yourself grieve. But you can give emotions permission to come and not hold them back. Laughing on the outside and in pain inside is not good. No matter what others think, it’s your grief not theirs. People shy away from the bereaved because, so often, it reminds them of their own mortality.
Also it’s possible that they don’t know what to say for fear of upsetting the bereaved person.
Give in to any emotions you may feel. No ‘bottling up’. The emotions are there and need to be released.
Take your time and take it as easy as you can. There is no time limit on grief. Blessings. John.

John thank you for your lovely words.I have different mental health issues and that’s y they said won’t b able to grieve.
I agree with everything that you have said.
Take care urself x

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