Lost son

Hi I lost my son to cancer in December 2017 after an 18 month battle he had two clear scans ane got married in June. His next scan in October showed the cancer had spread to his Liver and he passed away on the 10th of December. I just can’t cope I am finding it so hard I am crying all the time and have started suffering from anxiety. I see a councillor every 2 weeks but don’t think anything will help me x

We lost our son on the 4th December 2017 so I know exactly how you are feeling… it was very sudden and not expected with Christians death so it as completely devastated us… it makes you think what life is about and is it really worth it, but we have another son so our life is for him…you can only take it step by step day by day…my thoughts are with you. xx

It’s so hard isn’t it we also have another son but I just don’t want him to stop his life for us but he is grieving for his brother and the misery is never ending
I am finding it hard to go out of the house at the minute just want to stay with my memories. I am so sorry for your loss too xx

Three years ago Christian got two rescue dogs (Fred and Ginger) and though they lived with us it was always Christian who took them out daily so we now make the effort to try and take them out if not everyday at least every other day I know Christian would be pleased with us…
Last night when we got back from our walk there was a strong smell of Christian in the house and both dogs started to bark madly I don’t know if it was my imagination but I would like to think it was something more than that…xx

I am trying hard to go out some days it’s hard to put one foot in front of the other. I also like to think Richard is with us if only we could know for sure.my days are just sat with my memories as I don’t feel ready to go back to work yet x

Unfortunately memories are the saddest…we always remember the happy times…happy then… saddest now… xx

I know I am finding it difficult to remember the happy memories at the minute all I can see is what the cancer did to my son .is miss him so much x

I wish I could say something to help you but I afraid it’s the blind leading the blind…also like me remember your other son they need us to…if anything that Christians passing as taught me is never never never take your loved ones for granted just appreciate them for you never know what the future holds…xx

I know people say it’s only been 5 weeks but it feels like a lifetime and he was so young at 31 with everything to live for and the specialist said he was confident of a cure but just didn’t happen. I wonder why god takes our babies xxx

Hi Mirlos, I’m sorry that you have lost your son. My beautiful, clever, caring daughter also passed away through cancer 2 years ago. She was 33. The pain is relentless and unforgiving. You feel that you aren’t living a life, it’s just an existence. Every single thing that you do involves thoughts that she isn’t with us. I try to focus on her achievements and happy times, but it’s not always easy to do. Take everyday as it comes, don’t plan or expect to feel better, it’s such early days.
I recently read Gloria Hunnifords book Always with You. She lost her daughter to cancer. It was difficult to read at times, but she does describe many aspects so well.
Love to all. X

Hi thank you the grief is just so hard to bear at the moment but I am trying to take it one day at a time x

I have not had a good day today tears tears then more tears I think it’s something we have to accept and learn to live with, I could never ever imagine a feeling like this of utter loss and pain of not being able to see your son,daughter or loved one ever again…

I know how you feel I have cried a lot today and slept a lot just to try and shut off my mind for a while. I am fed up of people saying it will get easier it won’t. And people advising me to go back to work so I am not alone. I don’t think anyone knows what it is like to lose your child if they haven’t been through it.sending you hugs x

HI Marina , Mirlos, have had a bad day today as well everything reminds me of Dawn , I just cant get her out of my head I get fed up with people saying it will get easier, I feel like saying what do you know? you have not lost a daughter. Its been 13months and its not getting any better, I find when I go out I try and act normal because everyone think you should be overit by now , sometimes I just want to scream and shut myself away so I don’t have to pretend to be happy. take care Maddie x

Hi maddi l know what you mean I only lost Richard 5 weeks ago and every day is so very hard. The doctor gave me tablets for my anxiety but it doesn’t take away the pain of losing my son he was only 31 and cancer took him .he had only been married for 6 months. I find it so hard to go out of the door some days I just want to be with him. X

We took Christians dogs (Fred and Ginger) down to the beach today it was lovely weather ideal day for a walk but all I could think of was Christian would have loved this but it’s something he will never see ever again…xxx

Absolutely heartbreaking it’s so unfair I have not been able to think of anything else since losing Richard x