Lost soulmate

I was with a boy for many years as a couple. However, my best friend played a trick on me with his friend and joined a dating agency supposedly as a joke. This caused a big arguement and we split, although we stayed close friends ever since. Eight weeks ago I pressured him into accepting a hospital appointment for a large lump on his neck which was duly removed. The wound did not heal and sepsis set in do I again pressed Jim to go back. Although the hospital is known for cases of MRSA the consultant advised the weeping wound did not warrant hospitalisation and he was sent home with antibiotics. Three weeks on he has been found dead in his flat with the autopsy report advising heart attack as the cause of death. He had no previous heart problems and it seems more than a coincidence that he recently had these two hospital visits. I am beside myself with guilt at making him home and grief on his sad and lonely passing. I had no time to tell him how I felt and I wasn’t there when it happened. Maybe I shouldn’t have pressed him into having the op. He would probably still be here if I had left him to his own choice. I so loved him. him