I lost the mother of my children in late 2023, on December 10th, to be precise. We split up a couple of months before she passed. I blamed myself because I thought if we were still together, I would’ve noticed the difference sooner. She had a cardiac arrest at the age of 23. I never got to say goodbye, which made the loss 10x worse. She left behind her family and the family we created together, which included our two boys, aged 3 and 4 at the time. We miss her dearly, as anyone would, of course. I always worry I’m going to fail as a parent or let her down by not coping, for example, having a down day or a struggle day. Coming home from the hospital on December 10th and trying to tell our children they wouldn’t see their mummy again breaks my heart still to this day. I dropped to my knees and couldn’t finish what I wanted to say. I always feel like my boys are going to miss out on life now that it’s just us three. We have support from our families and their mom’s family, but it won’t ever be the support we wish for, and that is their mom. Her name was Steph.
I’m sorry to go on to everyone, but opening up like this gives me a tiny bit of relief.
Thank you all for reading.