It is exhausting, coming to 3rd August when mom was admitted to hospital, miss her so much and feel like i am just existing. Knowing that i am never going to see her again is makes life unbearable
1 Like
Life never the same!
1 Like
Had struggled this weekend with the sun shining sat in the garden in tears as normally i would be with my parents cooking for them and relax in there garden but can’t do that anymore lost my mum in april and my dad passed away 3 weeks after her that was such a shock and still is. Anyone going through this i feel your pain. Is still so recent and raw for me. I swear some people look at me and think just get on with it but is too hard and too soon both deaths were un expected so has been a struggle to get my head round it. All i can say is just take one day at a time dont think ahead too much if you need to cry just let it out. Cry as much as you need it has to be let out xx
3 Likes
I am so sorry, these anniversaries are very hard, I am only 3.5 months in and have heard the year and second year ones are very hard. Birthday was very painful. We are here and hugs to you
2 Likes
My birthday was a week after my dad passed did not want to celebrate it but took my little sister out instead. Im sorry for your loss and yes 3.5 months isnt long thats about the same as me losing my mum and still hurts like it did the day she went. You are not alone. Virtual hug () ()
3 Likes
I have had conversations with two people recentjy and we are all saying that some people avoid asking how you are or avoid talking about it as though you should be okay and getting on with your life, find it diffucult to understand. I have spent the past few days crying and in a dark place.
2 Likes
I know exactly what you mean ive recently gone back to work after being off for 4 weeks and my colleagues ask how i am now I’ve had time off and processed things. My reaction is completely different to the look on my face as I’m thinking did they really say that i can’t process any of this i still think sometimes it isn’t real. I cry every night and when i finally go to sleep i wake up again with that feeling in my stomach and heart and then its reality again that both my parents have gone then have to tell myself get through this day and go through it all again. I hope for anyone who has to feel this way that the pain will ease like people keep saying but so hard to see that right now.xx
2 Likes
People just don’t know. The ones that have had loss do and mostly are supportive.
My own mother in law apparently tells my husband that I should be back to normal now, living my life, he has to explain that it’s not like that.
She was ‘over’ her partners death quickly - he was a lovely man who cared for her very much, but she never appreciated him and he died alone in a room, uncared for, she could not tell us when he last had a meal or drink. So she is telling my husband I should be ‘over’ my mums death because it’s how she is in her world. So allow some space for people being very callous, strange or simply never having lost someone.
It has taught me alot that everyone goes through this differently and that I had in the end a very close relationship with my mum which I value, even if it means more pain in grief.
1 Like
I feel guilty I didn’t visit mum in hospital for 10 days because of work I did ring the hospital though. The hospital rung my other phone, obviously I didn’t get the messages that mum oxygen levels were decreasing. I found out by the Police visiting me who wanted to hang around. I did go into the hospital that day spoke to the nurse and went into room where mum was. I had to deal with it on my own at the time. Mum had passed in her sleep, she was 95. I had quite a long chat with nurse who had looked after mum and he did tell me she was asleep slot over the weekend. Even if I had visited there was nothing I could have done, think it would of been upsetting for me. Even as I type this the tears are streaming down my face. I was very close to mum as I lived with her for 55 years. Now I’m all alone in the flat and having to deal with Myaloma Cancer on top
2 Likes
Hi Keith 68. I’m so sorry for your loss…i too am crying right now so your not alone… Just deep breaths and know we all know how your feeling. Sorry to hear your poorly too but your mum would no doubt would want you to look after yourself too sounds like she had a good life 95! Thats amazing. Never feel guilty you obviously were close and no doubt did your bit looking after after all those years living together. Talk to me anytime x
1 Like
Some people just don’t care. My boss isn’t sympathetic at all says hes there to support me but literally the day after my dad passed he rung me but said its time to live my life now! I thought really my dads death was not expected and i just lost my mum 3 weeks prior to that i thought some people have no clue unless they’ve been through any heart ache like this. All i can say is try and think of happy times and you grieve however you need too…you have every excuse to react to horrible dis compassionate people xx
Oh that is awful I am so sorry your boss said that, really insensitive wow
Can’t believe your boss said that how very insensitive, shocking
He’s just one of those people that don’t really get affected by things like this and ive found out alot of people are like that just think its life and just to carry on but alot harder just to do that my world has been turned upside down I’ll know and feel when I’m ready to move on time is a healer they say. Hope your all doing okay x
You will get there, just take one day at a time. I was told that feeling the way i am just shows how much mom meant in my life. Will never be the same. Here if you ever need to chat
Hi @Bestie18, it’s almost 3 months since my Mum passed away and I understand what you mean. At this point a lot of people think you should be OK. I’m finding it irritating when people say ‘are you OK?’ and I know some people just don’t know what to say but I refuse to Yes because I’m not! far from it. I’ve realised that a lot of people just don’t understand the intensity of grief when it’s someone you’ve had a really close loving bond with. I’ve lost relatives in the past and felt upset but nothing near how I feel losing my Mum, this is a complete other level of grief so I think a lot of people walk around thinking they know how you feel but actually they’ve no idea. My world has been shaken and feels empty. I’m crying every day and I only get a seconds notice, it just boils up and spills straight out. I cry when I’m posting on here I can’t help it. I feel so sad. I feel that I need to keep talking about how I feel and about my Mum. I’m avoiding a lot of people as I can’t deal with them and only want to be around people I feel are more sensitive to me at the moment. Sending Hugs.
4 Likes
Hi, I fully get it too, I also get from my partner need to think how lucky you have been to have had your mom in your life for a long time, not many people to get that I do understand but its not the words I want to hear. I have also said losing mom is on another level, so so hard. Got so much I want to share with her like used too. I go to the cemetery and feel like she isn’t there, strange feeling. Maybe its because I haven’t accepted her going and still going through the grieving process.
Sending hugs, here anytime you want to chat, fully understand how your feeling.
2 Likes
@A.LOU I have found that with 2 friends who are more logically minded, ie they do not show emotion much anyway. They don’t mean to be insentitive they just don’t understand
1 Like
Thank You Lou, yea I have my moments but life goes on. Another day more stuff to do. Not enough hours in a day, not enough days in a week Before we know it’s the weekend again.
1 Like