I feel so very lost without mum and dad. Mum was diagnosed with cancer in August 2021 and died September 2021. It was too late for any treatment .Dad, my husband and I spent as much time with her at the community hospital as we could. It was devastating watching mum fade away but we knew that her pain was over . I struggled with nightmares after mum’s death. But I always was able to talk to dad and he would make me feel better. We have always been very close and enjoyed playing golf or cycling or just having lunch out. I phoned dad everyday after mum died . Dad had always been a very healthy and fit man. He loved his garden and this is where he caught legionnaires and was admitted to hospital in march 2022 . I had tested positive for covid 3 days before dad went into hospital and could not visit. The doctor thought dad had covid as the symptoms are similar to legionnaires. Dad declined the evening he was admitted to hospital and I had a phone call from the hospital that he was in ICU on a ventilator. Dad fought as hard as he could and I was able to see him after I got rid of covid.dad was getting better and when I spoke to him he opened his eyes .the doctor said he would make it but Unfortunately legionella bacteria fought back against the antibiotics. I had to give my permission to switch the ventilator off as his organs had shut down. Dad passed away 5th April. 6 months after mum. I was only coping with losing mum because of the support I had from dad and my husband. I just can’t believe their both gone and I’m struggling to cope. I just feel really lost and everything brings me to tears. I miss just picking up the phone and having a chat ,the silence is the worst thing. Everyone says it will get better not sure I believe them. Anyone else going or been through this ,I would appreciate any advice on how to cope .
Thanks.
What you have written resonates with me. Although your experinces are totally different to magnine. A loss of any parent is a big thing as I understand it your idenitity changes your no longer a son or daughter to someone.
I fully understand that your struggling to cope with having two losses within a short space of time. You will feel lost even now after losing my mum in November I still feel lost. You may need to get some support counselling may help they do have it here and Cruse do it also.
I understand the silence as well when looking after my mum there was always someone coming and going district nurses as she had a pressure sore.
Once she went into care my whole life changed I went into a downward spiral not been the same since. I’m alone all the time it’s like living on a island. Your not alone here we are here for you.
Hi @Sparkles and @MarkC, I’m so very sorry for your losses but what you have both said I can relate to I lost my dad 6 years ago to lung cancer he was 52 and it destroyed my world and has left a massive void , you feel as if you are starting a new life and a new you and that’s something I really struggled with, you are never alone here and like Mark c said we are here for you and everyone else here, there is no time limit to grief and we all deal with our grief differently but the emotions and heartache we feel are still the same, @MarkC my dad’s name was Mark sending you both lobe and strength xx
Hi my mum and dad three weeks apart mum in December and dad jan my dad died in the day of my mum funeral so I fell your pain it just takes time to heal I find that keeping busy helps me