My Mum passed away suddenly on the 7th Of January this year, It was her 70th Birthday on Friday, She was my best friend, Was always there to give me advice & support when i needed it, I need it now more than ever but i feel empty, The void will never be filled, I’m scared incase i forget what her voice sounded like, Her smell, Her laugh, I’ve 2 siblings, 1 older & 1 younger, They are both married with children, I find it hard to talk to them as they have their own lives, I live at home with my Daddy, He calls me by my mums name sometimes when we’re watching TV, This sends my anxiety levels through the roof, I know it’s only 7 Months since she passed away but i can’t get myself into any kind of routine or a new normal, My life always revolved around her, If anyone has any advice I’d be forever grateful xx
Hi
Nice to “meet” you. I feel the pain you are in. I too lost my Mum 39 weeks ago and it has blown my life apart. I miss her soo much as she was the only one who ever “got me” (I have ADHD) and was ALWAYS there for me. All of us 5 siblings are not speaking to each other since the day after her funeral. The physical pain I actually felt when I thought of her not long after her passing was unbelievable but it’s better now. I talk to her all the time and am now even able to have little jokes with her, so there has been some progress. What you need to remember is that she LOVED you. How lucky we were to have someone that special in our lives. That’s why I think it’s so hard now they are not there BUT she IS and ALWAYS WILL BE IN YOUR HEART just like my Mum is. Sadly now we have to navigate this new normal without them and that’s the really rubbish bit. but they are part of us we have their DNA. I’m trying to be strong like her, tbh I’m failing miserably right no. Just yesterday I was crying for telling her I need her back… I’m nearly 69!! But I still want my Mum. but I know with her love I will get through this. It must be hard to hear your Daddy call you by her name but maybe trying some deep breathing when it happens will help your anxiety. Have you had any counselling or spoken to Grief workers? Check out your local Mental Health Support network as there are some great charities out there. Don’t hold your breath on the NHS thought MIND are a good resource as are Sue Ryder. I had 6 weeks free face to face counselling with SR and it helped me. Also our local Mental Health charity here in Suffolk offer a telephone support service that starts at 7pm till 1am. It’s a talking service where they will chat to you for 20 mins at a time. It’s all friendly and free and it helped me enormously to know I could talk to someone who wouldn’t judge me and just offer me unconditional support . We all need that. Give them a try. It may help you. Love and hugs to you xx
I lost my mum in January this year too. Also lost my dad 3 years ago and my cat 3 weeks ago. I have a brother who has a family so haven’t really got anyone to talk to. I’m on antidepressants and started bereavement counselling last week, I was on the waiting list for this for 4 months, not sure if it’s going to help. Big hug xx