My grandad passed away a few months ago and since then i have felt incredibly lost. He was such a massive part of my life and I’m finding it difficult to return to ‘normal’ without him. I’m trying to not let it effect my university work but i just find myself so lost and unmotivated and then frustrated at myself because I know that he would hate that I’m doing this. How do you find the strength to carry on? All i want to do is sit on the sofa and cry

Hi B,

I’m sorry for the loss of your grandad. I’m not sure that you do find the strength to carry on as such. I think for most of us, we simply have no choice but to carry on living without our loved ones. My mum died suddenly in june, just after a routine operation that she was expected, not only to fully recover from, but to be back at home with me enjoying a cup of tea the following lunchtime.
I cant tell you how I have got through the last 4 months. I think the first few weeks were spent in shock and the rest I have just got through each hour and recently been able to get through each day.
I cant say things like, your grandad wouldn’t want you to be upset, or life is for the living etc.
What a lot of rubbish. I want my mum and you want your grandad. We can’t have them so we just have to get on with it. What has helped, is this site, going for long walks and loving my partner and daughter.
Have you got other family and friends to support you? X

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Thank you for your reply. I am very sorry about your mum, it must have been a complete shock. I’m not sure how i have got through the last few months either, i just seem to be bumbling through it. I’ve got family but I don’t want to ‘burden’ them with my emotions when they are going through similar, and some of my family don’t really show emotions so i find it difficult to bring up mine in front of them. My friends have been really supportive but not for the want of trying they don’t really understand it as they haven’t gone through it (and I hope that they’re not put in a position for a long time where they are able to understand). x