I have lost my beautiful daughter. She had breast cancer and was diagnosed at just 21. She was 25 when she died. I’m so lost and have panic attacks when I realise I will never see her again. Does anyone who has lost a child have any advice that may help me.
Hello Julie, I just noticed you hadn’t had a response to your post. I am so sorry for that but sometimes, with so many posts, some slip through. Even now I don’t really know what to say to you. I haven’t lost a daughter but I have one and can’t begin to imagine what you’re going through. I’m here because I lost my husband so I do know about grief. It’s been three years for me but I remember vividly the panic attacks, the gulping for air. Please know you’re not alone. Perhaps take a look in the ‘Loss of a child’ category and feel free to join the conversations. You have my heartfelt sympathy. Sending love and understanding. xxx
Thank you for replying.
I have been told that in time I will find a new normal. I just can’t imagine a life without my daughter in it. She was such a huge part of my life. Eventually, I want to say and feel that I was blessed to have her in my life but, at the moment, I’m so devastated that she’s been taken from us.
I lost my son Christian over two and a half years ago and still I am trying to come to terms with the fact I will never see him again,at least not in this life…part of me as accepted it and there is a part of me that never will.
It’s so difficult, but after a while you start to realise that life must go on, not only for yourself but for your family too, and you do start living life again…I remember the first time I found myself laughing I felt so guilty …
I remember having panic attacks but they ease with time,but I still even now get the odd one or two.
My advice would be from my experience…your daughter is still in your life she is still part of your family she always will be…talk to her,tell her everything which is happening in the family…don’t be shy to bring her into everyday conversations…Christians name crops up in our conversations all the time ,we can laugh at so many of antics and cry as well.
Life will get back to normal for you again…just not the normal that you would wish it to be.
This site helped me enormously, I never realised how many families have lost adult sons and daughters, so to come on here and be able to talk with other parents helps tremendously.
You take care,you are not alone…sending my love xxxx
I’m so sorry for your loss. I too suffer with panic attacks, it feels like you are suffocating at the thought of never ever seeing them again. My son passed suddenly 9 weeks ago age 22. Post mortem examination was inconclusive, further extensive tests were conducted & last week a conclusion was SADS sudden arrhythmia death syndrome. Utterly devastated & heartbroken.
Sending you thoughts & strength
Thank you for posting a kind positive reply. Although it wasn’t linked to my post I found it helpful to read. My son passed 9 weeks ago. SADS sudden arrhythmia death syndrome
I am so sorry to read this. You must be devastated and I understand the heartache you are feeling. Jenna had breast cancer but I always thought she’d beat the odds. To be taken so suddenly and unexpectedly must be so hard to bear.
I too hope that you find strength to face each day. We are part of a club that no one wants to join and membership is priceless.
Oh Rkeane,I know just how you are feeling for I lost my son to SADS also. …he was on his own in his flat I had kept ringing and texting him but no reply to either and I had a dreadful feeling something was wrong.I asked my husband to go and check on him,I could not go with him for I was to frightened what we would find,my husband phoned half an hour later to say he was dead…he was all on his own,I hope and pray he had no idea what was happening to him…
We had a post mortem and a toxicology test and the coroners verdict came back as SADS
Sending you my love …Stay strong for you and your family xx
Marina thank you for your kind supportive words it means so much. I am truly sorry for your loss too. Just so unbelievable & unfair. I went into my sons room to wake him up to take the dogs to the beach early on fathers day. At first for a few blissful moments I thought my darling boy was fast fast asleep, I then realised & our lives changed forever in that moment. I cannot now go to my other son’s room to wake him for anything as I’m terrified.
Sending love & support to you & your family.
Bless you,I cannot imagine how you felt when you realised your darling boy was not going to wake up,life can be so cruel…When Christian died I woke that morning with a premonition,so when my husband phoned to say the paramedics had come and pronounced him dead, in a way it was the words I was expecting,…
.How we live without our darling boys, I don’t know, but somehow we manage to.
Tomorrow we are going over to Kent where my other son and his wife lives…we are celebrating their tenth wedding anniversary…a family celebration but with one member of the family missing,but never ever forgotten and always will be with us.
Stay strong …xxxx
Marina, thank you for your kind supportive words. I know I will have to find a way of carrying on for my other darling son & husband, it’s just so painful all the time
I hope you have a lovely visit to your other sons tomorrow & enjoy celebrating with him & the rest of your family. Take care, stay strong. Sending love and strength to you x
Trust me,though the pain will be with you forever …it does get easier and you will be able to laugh and also cry when you remember all the memories…and be thankful that you had your son in your life even if not for ever,but he was and always will be a massive part of your family…He will always be with you. xx
I am so sorry for your loss, it’s so hard knowing & trying to understand our terrible losses. I desperately miss my son who passed 9 weeks ago from sudden arrhythmia death syndrome SADS. Just so shocking & heartbreaking, he was 22 years old.
It’s helpful knowing people here understand how we are feeling. Sadly we all have terrible grief to try & navigate through. It’s the most painful journey we will ever do. I know this already as I lost my mum to suicide when I was 5, then my gran to suicide when I was 6. I have spent almost my whole life grieving & now will spend the rest of my life grieving for my beautiful son
Life is so cruel & I am so sorry for us all. Take care, sending you love & strength x
I just wanted to thank all of you for responding to my post. You are all remarkably strong women and you have each given me some inner strength. Jenna’s funeral was on Saturday - it was beautiful and she would have approved of her send off.
Jenna’s death wasn’t sudden and although expected it was shocking. I can’t imagine how you are coping with such a sudden loss. But you are and you will continue to do so.
Sending you all love and strength.
This is so upsetting to read. What a brave and courageous woman you are. I wish only good things for you and your family.
Hi so sorry to read all your tragic posts life is so very cruel for some of us , I’m still in shock my son died on the 13 th June age 23 I just can’t believe I won’t ever see him again he was my funny handsome boy full of cheek but sensitive and kind I’m really struggling today the physical pain is back with a vengeance I miss him so much, I lost my daughter ten years ago She was 18, just can’t believe I’ve lost another child, how an earth do we as parents carry on without our beautiful children I feel as if I’m existing not living anymore Let’s hope we all find that inner strength to carry on even when life seems so hopeless I’m lucky I have one remaining daughter she is so broken and my reason to keep strong for her I hope you all have shining lights in your lives too xx