Hi ,just joined, I lost my husband to cancer 16th December 2020, 10 months from diagnosis, we had hoped for longer but wasn’t to be, feel like I’m on auto pilot, get up feed my doggies,go to work, I’m back at work part-time using up annual leave,come home , our kids have been so supportive and I know they are grieving to, my heart hurts so much,I feel so lost without him he was my rock,my soul mate my best friend, it was our second marriage for both of us and we had 18 really good years, not sure how I’ve got this far , not sure how to get any further.
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Hello Sal1…I read your post and understand fully when you say you are feeling as if you are on auto pilot . Life changes so much when we lose those we love doesnt it …for me it has been a year tomorrow that we buried my husband …the day that in so many ways time stood still .I to find myself working …waking sleeping …and the next day and the next and the next …the same pattern with a aching heart …I’m glad you and your husband found each other and how you have 18 years of memories to treasure …Our hearts will hurt and we will struggle to find purpose …but I sincerely hope that for you and all of us in this dark place we have found ourselves one day we will see sunshine again …sending your way the warmest of wishes
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Hi bab1, thank you for your reply, I hope you don’t find tomorrow to hard, it was 2 weeks ago yesterday that myself and the kids laid Michael’s ashes to rest, thought I was feeling brave to day, took fresh flowers, and broke my heart all over again, was glad I went but a part of wished I hadn’t or didn’t have to go there, everyone talks about getting back to normal, but for us life can never go back to how it was such a big part will always be missing, I want to scream this at them but can’t its not their fault, its not anyone’s fault, its just the way it is but I so wish it wasn’t
Two weeks is such a short time ago …but it probally feels like a life time for you Sue1since laying your husbands ashes .
I hear what you are saying about others not being able to wait to "get back to normal " because you are right there is no normal in grief …one day at a time is a favourite song of mine …it reminds me that getting through each day each moment is an achievement in itself …take care