Lost

I lost my mum 8 months ago. I just feel lost. Guilty everyday for putting my partner an 2sons through the hell that I’m going through. Is it normal to feel so guilty.

hi Claire,
I lost my dad just over a month ago…
I think when it comes with grief a whole variety of emotions gets thrown in…including guilt. guilt towards the one we lost and also towards the ones who are left behind, in your case your partner and 2 sons.
i totally understand it as i find myself apologizing for being so upset “all the time” to my partner, fearing that he would get fed up with me being so emotional and that he’d leave me or lose interest in me…
but thankfully, he’s being very understanding and supportive which i hope and i’m sure your partner and sons are too.
my advice it “be gentle with yourself” and “be kind to yourself”…that’s our problem, we’re always too hard on ourselves
and proactively do things to move forward, plan ahead so you have nice things to look forward to, do little things that make you smile be it a cup of hot chocolate, a hot bath, watching chick flicks or going on a weekend away.
and most importantly make your body strong and healthy.
by doing this, you will feel better in time and when you’re happier those around you will be too hugs

Hello Claire11 and a warm welcome to our Community. I’m so sorry to hear you lost your mum and that you have these feelings of guilt on top of your grief.

I think Jude has given a great response about guilt, it’s a part of the grieving process so completely normal.

You might find it helpful to talk to some others who have lost their mums and who understand what you’re going through. There is a thread here from Collywobbles from a little while ago for example https://support.sueryder.org/community/coping-death-loved-one/death-parent

I do hope you find comfort and support here Claire11
take care
Nancy

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