Sadly my Wonderful Husband was diagnosed with Terminal Cancer May 2017. He was given a Year to live, but Sadly he lost his Brave fight August 2017.
He was a Truly Wonderful Selfless Man and the pain I am feeling is something I have never felt before.

Hi Mp im very sorry for your loss .Your nightmare is very raw ,but you have found the right site to offload and chat to other who know how you feel .There is no script or set pattern as to what youll feel .It happens when it happens everybody feels a different way .Some visit there gp re help (im visit my gp once a month .Dont be a stranger here keep coming back .Other people will see your post and im sure some will reply Colin(im 58 my darling wife passed 04032016 on her 41st birthday)

Thankyou for your kind words and I am so terribly sorry for your loss. I feel I am just existing just now I have no purpose without my soulmate, my Husband was and still is my World. Breathing without him by my side is painful.

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Dear Mp, I lost my husband in June. We had been married for 66 years, and I am still devastated at losing him. So, I can feel for you as I know what it is like to lose someone you love so much. I am 86 now and just hope that I will be able to join my husband soon. I so hope that you will get better, but it is a long, hard journey we are taking. Talking on this site does help so keep in touch. Kind regards, Eileen

Eileen, thankyou for taking time to speak to me. I am so sorry for your lost. What is difficult is that this is a journey that I did not want to take. I feel so alone and no amount of friends are helping me through this journey. I assume like you I need my Husband on every journey that I take. Take care

Hi Mp

I am so very sad for you, I also lost my husband Aug 2017 and he had been diagnosed June 2017, he was 57.

I am devastated too, can’t be bothered to do anything, it’s difficult to get out of bed in a morning so I don’t bother. If I hide in bed then I don’t have to face up to things.

I, like you am beginning my journey of grief, I know you feel alone, broken, numb, lost and everything else that goes with losing your best friend.

You are not alone, on this site, we are all struggling together. Keep strong, just take every day hour by hour, that’s how I get through.

Good luck, you are not alone. I miss my beautiful husband every second of every day. Jackie X

Hi Jackie, So so sorry for your Loss. Yes everything you have said is so true. Life is so cruel and leaves me feeling so angry with people. Asking why did this happen to us. It was My Husband’s Birthday in September our Anniversary last week and I feel robbed that he was not here on such special occasions. I dont know about you but I cant even begin to deal with going back to work x

No, I’ve made a decision that I’m not going back until after Jan 2018, I’m not doing Christmas. I am angry, devastated, feel so much pain it’s like torture.

Life is so unfair but all we can do is take every day, hour by hour and be kind to ourselves. I dearly love my hubby and can’t believe he is no longer here. We on this site are actually living a nightmare. The only way I can describe how I am feeling is tortured, probably the same goes for you.

The only way I can get through this is knowing that my hubby didn’t suffer too much, his illness was 8 weeks and was very peaceful at the end. I suppose it could have been very different. Take care.

Again I feel my Wonderful Husbands illness sounds similar to yours. He lived for 15 weeks after diagnosis although in the early weeks he recieved treatment they soon discovered it was not helping therefore it stopped. With the nature of his cruel illness he did not suffer and it was extremely peaceful and he passed away in the comfort of our home.
Like you the pain, grief, torture, emptiness is destroying and all I want and will ever need is my truly wonderful Husband at my side.
I am 49 and the thought of living into my late years is uncomprehendible.
Please take care x

I am so so sorry l could not imagine life without my husband. We have been married 21 years yesterday but, l started going out with him when he was 16 and l was 17 years old. He is my soul mate and my life.
I just lost my mum in August it feel’s like last week to me. He was as close to.my mum as l was as he had been in my house with my parents since he was a kid himself well 16 and he lost both his parents when he was young as he was adopted of his grandparents. So they were quite old but he took his mum dying really bad. And after that he was always close to my mum. I got very ill to the point all my orgins started to give in and it was not lookinh gòod. It all starteđ from me getting peptic ulcers and they burst and l was bleeding into my stomach and ended up.wity cepyacimia which just spiraled into everything. My mum and my the boyfriend was at hospital everyday and my mum formed a bond with him as she seen how much he loved me. I was in hospital for months and he lost loads of weight with worry. My mum started taking him to there house and making him eat. Don’t get me wrong me and my husband have been through hard times but we stuck.by each other. Then about 2 years ago before my mum.got sick he got what was like a bad flu. His temperature was high he was confused and saying things that did not make sence. He is one of these men thats never ill or at doctors. So this was weird him asking to.go.to GP. I took him and they sent him.strsight down to A&E and l know he is terriffied from doctors, dentists hospitals anything like that and in all my time he had never been in hospital.for anything. So that night they kept him in as his bloods were off his temp was high and he had a scan and his brain was swollen.

I was terrified coming home to an empty house. Not knowing what was wrong with him. They wanted to do a lumber puncture as they suspected it was somethind with his brain. I cried and my mum was with me all the time. I just was not used to being away from him he as like part of me. I was terrified as they said there could be brain damage. They found out it was an infection in his brain. I know it does not come close to your issue. You have lost the your soul mate. I cannot begin to know how it feels as l could not live without Mark. We have been through so much. Losing my mum to cancer has been so hard that l can’t get over it. At least l have my husband but not having my mum has been so big l am still in disbeleif l think… l have no clue how l am feeling. I have the worst arthritis that l just got 3 years ago. I have had 5 operations. New hips new knee ankle fusion and am getting my other knee done in Nov and l am in so much pain.
So again l am sorry as l could not live without my hubby now my mums gone . I would have no clue.
Take Care
Lors x

Hi Lors. I am so sorry to hear of your loss.
Like you I lost my Mum and my two sisters to Cancer within 18 months of each other
First being my wee Mum in 2010.
My wonderful Husband was my rock throughout all the sadness, he was the person that I kept on breathing for and now that he is no longer here breathing is so difficult the grief I have is nothing I have ever experienced before.
Life can be so cruel I am constantly asking why did this happen, knowing no one can answer.
Take care x