Lost my wufe 3 weeks ago im so lost we met when we were 15 got married at 18 our wedding anniversary was on 20th i miss her do much


18 had 61 years together I’ll never get over this pain. My man died in April after a six week illness. I love him so much by I can’t function without him. The pain is so bad I want to scream snd shout but I can’t. I have lots of support but I want to touch him cuddle him talk to him and I never will again. Such a healthy man in all ways. I keep thinking no one had the right to take him away from me but I don’t know who I sm anymore. I feel your pain


Dear BrianB - I am so sorry you have lost your wife. You have come to a great place here at Sue Ryder, we all understand how you feel & hopefully you will find people/posts which will help you. You are not alone. It will be 2 years for me next week & I am in a bad place at the moment, I am hoping things improve. Take care, Alison xx


Thank you for your message . Im so lost at the moment we met when we were 15 and been together ever since


@BrianB sorry for your loss. It’s 16 weeks since my husband passed away. I’m 56 and been with my husband since I was 19. Such a huge adjustment we have to make. This forum has been a big help to me so hopefully it will help you too. Take care.

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I lost my wife in May this year so I know exactly how you feel. We’d been together 33 years in total she was my world. Everyday is an upset day at the moment.
A friend of mine who had lost his partner a long time ago said something to me that has stuck with me since my wife’s passing. When he said I felt like hitting him at first until I realised what he meant. He said

I know it’s horrible that you’ve lost her and no matter what life will never be same, but would you really want the roles reversed and to know that it’s you that went and left her with all this grief.

When he explained himself he told me that’s how he deals with everything. We all know but never actually realise that one day 1 person out of the relationship is going to be left alone and he is happy that his wife never had to experience this amount of pain.

As I’ve said at the moment everyday is an upset day for me, just one more conversation, just one more touch. I wish for it daily knowing it won’t happen.

I feel your pain.

I know how you feel i lost my wife of 40 years 3 weeks ago, we met at 17 snd were together ever since. The loneliness is unbearable. I am at the angry stage now, why her ? Why cant we grow old together ? Reading the messages here has helped , people who also have been in this situation can help. It seems it will always be unbearable but hopefully we learn to cope with it over time, life will never be the same. Stay strong !

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I think that is a very helpful way of looking at the situation we are all in. I lost my husband last December and I have often thought how would he be coping if it was the other way round. I agree, until it happens you never consider that one of you will be left alone. Especially if you are relatively young.

It doesn’t get any easier even after 4 yrs but you just have to go on keep putting one foot in front of the other. They would want it

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Hi Maz
I too often wonder what my husband would have been like if I had gone first. Honestly I dread to think. Even though he had a part time job and I was retired he really had no real friends and hated being indoors alone. Even if I went out with girlfriends he would go out for the day so being like us alone and indoors would have been unbearable for him. My boys would have supported him but they have their own families and to be honest I would hate him to feel the pain I’m going through being without him. In the beginning I said “I wish it was me instead”
Because I felt the boys needed him more then me but even they have said he wouldn’t last five minutes on his own.

Oh how I miss him. Sitting here with my grandson who he adored it’s such a shame he’s not sharing him growing up.


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Hi Georgie
Thank you for your reply. It completely resonates with me. I too felt my sons really needed my husband more than me as he was so knowledgeable on DIY etc. I have one three year old grandson who I look after on a Friday. We used to look after him together and it makes me very sad that he is not getting to watch him grow up too. Also that he will slowly forget the grandfather who loved him so much. I always talk about him and so far he can still remember ‘Grandad’ but I have to be realistic that this will slowly fade as he is too young.