I lost my 19yr old daughter last month ,she had a life limiting condition ,but actually passed with a new condition and spent two weeks in icu before actually passing 
I honestly thought she was going to pull through but she ended up with pnuemonia and her poor lungs couldnāt cope ā¦ā¦
We had the funeral only last week ,but I canāt cope ,I canāt believe sheās gone ,everything I did I did with / for her as I was her carer ,best friend and mum ! Iām completely lost ,I have a partner and son at home but itās like Iāve died with her .
I know itās early days but I canāt imagine how life goes on
Iām so sorry for your loss. I know that feeling of feeling lost, itās horrendous. I think how hard I worked to provide a lovely loving home for it all to be gone in a flash, Itās very early days, itās 20 weeks tomorrow when I lost my sonā¦.a drugs overdoseā¦why I ask myself. This grief is a rollercoaster and if Iām honest itās hell some days. I have good and bad days, but spend so many hours in my day exercising, I find itās the only way to cope. Some days I really believe he is still here, or I will look at photos of himā¦depends on how I feel. Please take it hour by hour, I have realised that works. I also write myself a private journal and that really helpsā¦maybe worth a try. I let the tears and my thoughts flow when I write in there. Please be kind to yourself and do things when you are ready. This site is absolutely amazing and has helped me so much. Big hug xx
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I totally agree, take it hour by hour. I also write a journal, this really helps me at the end of the day. Itās almost two years since I lost my 28 year old son to a drug overdose. Iām not gonna lie and say it gets easier, in my case I think itās got harder. The first year I think I was in a haze and then the realisation hit that heās not coming back.
Iāve have found this site helps tremendously, makes you realise you are not going mad and other people are going through exactly the same things as you.
I wish I had taken more time to heal myself at the start but I thought going back to work and carrying on as ānormalā was the right way to go. Unfortunately for me it wasnāt, my life isnāt ānormalā anymore.
Take time and look after yourself xx
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Hi Gill1690. Thank you, I lost my son to a drugs overdose, waiting for the inquest in Octoberā¦it wonāt change anything, the heartache and why never seems to disappear. When it does it comes back like a horrible monster, we are waiting for the inquest then will tell few people the outcome. I live in a small village and they seem to think they know my business. I was told he choked in his own vomitā¦.I was there doing CPR on him. Told these people straight they had it so wrong, they were gobsmacked about me doing CPR. I lay low at the moment, I find it easier, but journal writing really helps. Sorry for wittering on but this is one place I know people get how you are feeling. I start of saying one thing then ramble on. Take care and be kind to yourself xx
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I found my son dead in bed, Iād been at work all day, it was too late to save him.
There was an inquest, I didnāt attend, I read all the paperwork from the post Mortum and my family offered to go to the inquest with me but I didnāt want to put them through hearing all the details.
Unfortunately the details of the inquest were printed in our local paper. At the time I was devastated as I didnāt want the world hearing details of something so personal to me.
Now, I donāt care, let people think what they want. They didnāt know the kind, funny, loving son I had. He made a bad decision that night, not for one minute have I ever thought he meant to do it, when I read what was in the drugs he took, he didnāt stand a chance. xx
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Thank you Gill1960. I found my son in bed, too late and yes he made a bad decision with drugs the night before. His work clothes were ready for the next day. Like you our sons were kind caring and loving, let people think what they want. We have been and go through hell. His inquest is in October. Myself and partner will be going as that is what I want to do. I dread what will be in the paper, but like you we know the truth xx
Ps my son didnāt stand a chance with what he had taken either xx
Our circumstances are so similar, itās so nice to talk to someone whoās going through exactly what I am, thank you x
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Very similar circumstances and my son didnāt stand a chanceā¦.he took the risk so many times, it was only a few years ago he took something and ended up on a life support machineā¦.why do it, itās an addiction and each day they fought it. The day before he had a pay rise at work, on top form. I ask myself so many times perhaps like you doā¦why, why. All I can think is that they are at peace and resting. Even my best friend doesnāt even ask me how I am anymore or even mention my sons name which I find hurtful. Guess thatās her problem not mine, Iāve never had much patience but seem to have zero at the moment. I canāt cope with niff naff moaning about anything and I have no sympathy left in my. I was told the other day someone I know is seriously unwell, all I could say was oh well it happensā¦.so unlike me. Anyway Iām waffling on again sorry, I hope you have an ok day, take care, big hugsā¤ļø xx
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