I don’t know how to start this! Our beautiful daughter died 18months ago and we have tried to deal with this and support her husband too. Tonight he has told me he has met someone else and I am really struggling with this news. I don’t want him to be on his own forever, but feel hurt that he is moving on so quickly. Is this a normal reaction??

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Hi. I understand how you feel. I know it’s not the same, but I lost my dog this summer in a tragic accident. About a month after he passed, my family got a new one without telling me.

I was infuriated and devastate. I screamed and I panicked and I accused them of not caring for my Arlo, for replacing him. I’m back in the UK now, still trying to cope with his loss. They send me pictures with the new puppy and as much as it is nice to see them looking happier, I sometimes get a bitter feeling in my chest that screams “why are you so happy apready? why arent you hurting as much as I am?”

The truth is that without this new dog, I know my family would be miserable, and as much as I hate the thought of replacing Arlo, and know I’ll never do it, I have to let my family move on. It won’t help me to hurt everyone around me and stop them from living, no matter how much it pains me sometimes.

I hope that helps at all.

Good luck, and I am truly so sorry for your loss.

I get how you feel. Losing a child is like no other loss. I dont think ill ever be the same, since losing my son I am changed.
It seems so soon-18 months, but maybe he just needs this comfort to build back his life.

I am seperated from my husband and I cant believe how my ex has been able to move on in life. I hate that he appears to be thriving. Having fun with his new wife and their new family. Mine is still broken and upside down and I struggle to function as I should. I miss our boy every day and feel the pain of the loss on a daily basis. I know this is my problem and not his. I know I shouldnt be bitter. I dont want anyone to feel so bereft as life goes on.

Maybe your daughter would want her husband to have some purpose in life. To remember her with love and at the same time to thrive for himself.
Life is so sad for those left behind. I hope he finds peace and love …
.And Wishing you peace and relief from the hurt . We so want things to be different. It hurts so much

Thank you Nori, I am very sorry for your loss too. When Rebecca died I told her husband that he couldn’t ‘t spend the rest of his life alone, he is only 35. However when he told me last night he had met someone else, I felt sick! I know he still loves Rebecca and she will always be in his heart. I just don’t understand my own reaction!

I am so sorry for your loss , I would say it’s normal to feel the way you are , it must feel like he’s moving on from your loss , where you as a mother can’t move forward , how could you she’s your baby , I can’t give you any advice as I don’t take my mine after losing my daughter I’m a mess and I’m only alive because of my three children , just know your feelings are valid and f##k him , you will carry your child’s name forever , I have changed my name , and put my daughters name in mine now , let him go and wish him happiness, your daughter is with you always , she will go where ever YOU go , one day you will find happiness again ,

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@Buff I can totally relate to you. I know my Son would want nothing more than for his Wife to have a happy life and that will include another man at some point. She’s only 31, I wouldn’t expect her to stay single for the rest of her life. They adored each other and I will be eternally grateful that she made my Son so happy for those few years they had together. We have a close bond even though she’s in California and I will stay in contact but I know when she does start dating it’ll kill me inside. My Son should be living a happy life with her and it’s been taken away, life is so cruel.

I think the world of my son in law and know he has to find meaning in his life again. We have shared our grief since her loss and this is the first time our situation has changed. He can move forward with a new partner, I cannot get a new daughter! I know over time I will come to terms with it, it’s just hard at the moment.

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“I can not get a new daughter “ hit my hard I lost my daughter in October she was 18 she drowned after two horrible girls pushed her in , stealing my daughters life , and that of mine and Chloe’s siblings why they can go out and make their own life and have daughters and son , why we are stuck in agony , your daughter loved you very much no matter what goes on with other people , she knew you more than any one , in a crowded room she would know your voice and sent from a far , she was in you stomach , you gave birth to her , your pain will be the hardest , she was your daughter, and yes you loved her very she loved you just as much , you will never get over this because how could you she is your baby girl , but you will find happiness and joy one day , I find it so hard to see it myself .

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