Lost

Im new to this group,I lost my son at the weekend he was only 21 year old

I am so sorry, I lost my son last July he was 47 but still my baby he died of secondary bone cancer. He died within 3 months,it is a long road we have to travel .My heart goes out to you sending you all my best wishes❤️

I am sorry to hear that Toni, life is unfair at times, if you want to tell us everything feel free, this community is always comforting and understanding and have experienced similar things. Please tell everything on your mind, your emotions etc

Im not coping right now im lost hurting,Im so sorry for lose,Is really difficult

Im not coping right now im hurting feel lost,My house was covered in mould and damp and we don’t know if that caused his death so hes getting a postmortem done next week to find out why

We understand your pain Toni, did he had a cardiac arrest? All I can say whatever the postmortem says never ever blame yourself for anything or let your mind make up some stories till you wait for the report. Be kind to yourself bcoz that is what your son would want

Take care and reach out anytime

I’m sorry about your son @Toni1983

You don’t have to go into details not if you don’t want
This site lets you share whatever you feel comfortable

No pressure

There are others on here who have lost adult children I see you have a response from one member already

Please keep coming on here

Take care

I will do thank you

We don’t know yet but i do blame myself for it maybe I should of done more iv tryed but it feels like iv failed him as a mum

You did all you can for him,this showed you cared. My son was 47 had special needs, but he never smoked,drank, did not like a lot of red meat. Ate lots of fruit and veg at weekends when he can home to us.All the things that are good for you and yet he died of secondary bone cancer, they think from the primary being a small gastric ulcer.
Your mind keeps thinking should I have done this and that,but it will. not bring them back. Try now to make him proud of you. :pray::pray::pray::two_hearts:

Im so sorry for your loss,My son was 21 year old i made sure he was happy loved and fed,My head keeps spinning trying to get things sorted

I don’t want to hurt you but did he have special needs? I know sometimes it is hard to say. My son was born with moderate learning disability,mild cerebral palsy and later epilepsy.He was 47 living independent with help from Mencap, he came home at weekends. I will understand if you do not want to say . But he had a good mum and you show that you cared for him very much.:heart:

Thank you :heartbeat: Yeah he had special needs he had depression and behaviour problems,He was sure a lovely,caring helpful son and now hes gone

Same as my son always. Laughing and loved by all. I tried to think I had 47 wonderful years with him. Just think of all the good times you had with your son, and what ever they find as the cause of death ,you have done your best.
I do think they are on so much medication for a long time ,that it causes so much reactions and yet the health service does not check on things such as endoscopy to see what the meds do to their stomach etc. My son had no symptoms until he got pains in his hip and spine I was told by the medical profession muscular,until I got him to a&e they said secondary bone cancer ,he died within 3months. :pray::pray::pray:

I tryed to get him in to see a doctor but they kept giving him doctor phones call,He knew i tryed my best,I said goodbye goodnight to him to sleep tight sweetdreams and covered him a blanket that the ambulance gave me

I know sweetheart to try and get help is so hard. When my son started having pains , I tried to get help ,went to the walk in clinic the doctor said muscular , tried to get a physiotherapist at the assessment they said muscular and there was a 3 months waiting list. When he could not get out of bed and was screaming with pain when we tried, I phoned for an ambulance . I said I need help to get him out of bed and down the stairs I am a woman in my seventies. They said is he breathing I said yes, they said is he bleeding I said no . They said we can’t come out to phone 111 but there is two hours waiting ,I said he is screaming in pain. In the end the carer and I got him down the stairs, I got a mini cab. Then there was the problem of getting him out of the mini cab,as there was no wheelchairs at the a@e . The young doctor at the a@e was good she said she could feel something on his hip. Why could the doctor at the walk in clinic and the physio doing the assessment not feel this? The doctor at the hospital said that was an mistake. Us parents have to fight all the time for our special needs children.you are a very caring mother​:heart::heart:

Wow,When i phoned 999 on Saturday they said i too wait 2 - 3 for ambulance and they said can you do CPR and i said no cause he gone gone and she said well just wait until they come not even a sorry for loss nothing,I was starting to get mad at one point cause I wanted them to come so i kept phoning and phoning

If you want too you can report his death to LeDeR . Just go on the search and put in LeDeR ,it is for deaths of Learning Disability and Autism people. You fill in a small form to report his death. I think they are trying to find why so many of them are dying. Anyone can fill it in a parent,friend or carer . Although us that have been through it all can tell them. Best of luck and keep fighting​:pray::pray::pray:

I will do thank you so much :two_hearts: and thank you for relying it means alot :heartbeat:

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