Lost

The last 13 months have been the worst possible. I lost my mum in April 2023. Followed by my first grandchild at 11 weeks in June 2023. Two weeks ago I lost my partner suddenly. I feel that I’ve been such a bad person in life somehow that I must deserve all of this heartache. Even though rationally I know I’m not a bad person. I’m a good friend and mum who always puts others first. I thought I had so much more time left with my partner, he was only 63 and I’m not 60 yet. I work from home and he was always here. I have family and friends but they have their own lives, I don’t want to burden them. I don’t know what to do.

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Hi sorry that you are going through such a terrible time, I know what you mean about feeling like a horrible person and why me?? I think a lot of us feel like that. Chatting to people on here really helps and we are all on kind of the same journey. I lost the love of my life my darling husband 8 months ago and my heart is truly broken. I don’t have family or friends around me but I’ve met some lovely people on here. Here if you want a chat.x

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Sounds like you have had more than your fair share and I am so sorry because I know what that feels like. I wish I knew why bad things happen to good people. You are not a bad person and you don’t deserve any of this. For me, I just take one day at a time, or even an hour or a minute, wait for the wave to crash and breathe again. Be kind to yourself. Much love. Xx

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Thank you for your kind words, especially when you are feeling it yourself. I’m feeling totally lost at the moment. I know it comes in waves, but it is overwhelming. Take care xx

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Thank you for your kind words xx

Your not a bad person at all unlucky but not bad.

I lost a granddaughter she was 23 weeks pre term then shortly after my husband in September 2023 after a battle with cancer.

I feel everyone else, including my grown up children, that their lives are all moving forward and I’m left floundering with a life I don’t know how to live.

I thought I’d done pretty well but the last month or so has been really tough and I just want to cry all the time.

Like you I’m just 60 and we were looking forward to a retirement of travelling and spending time together. I feel I’ve been robbed of this and I feel very angry and jealous when I see friends and family getting the time we won’t have.

It’s rubbish but I suppose we have to keep going there is no choice.

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This is exactly how I’m feeling. I’m so sorry that you’re going through this too. Sometimes you wonder if you can get through it xx