love of my life Margaret

Hi everyone my name is Hugh last month Margaret finally lost her fight with cancer we were together for 35 years I am totally lost without her just don`t know what to do, just on my own no family for support I was happy to be at home pottering about, all our acquaintances were Margaret’s so after sending me a card there has been little contact with anyone, I am just so lonely only my cats for company, maybe some day I will be strong enough to go out and meet people

It is very early days, I understand how terribly lonely and isolated you will be feeling. Take one day at a time, try to keep busy and accept help and support if it is offered. I found it helpful to have just one thing that I had to go out and do most days (some days I couldn’t face the world at all!) but having to do a bit of shopping, or go to the post office gave my day a purpose and got me out. I’m very lucky, I have family to turn to if I need to but you may be surprised at how many of your wife’s acquaintances will still want to stay in touch if you are open to it. There will always be people to talk to here and in time I’m sure you will find things to interest you locally that you can join in with. Hang in there, it becomes more bearable given time xx

I keep busy OK with washing housework and shopping none of which I am used to doing but it keeps me busy and of course I have four rescued cats to care for one is diabetic and needs his insulin twice a day, but still I am lonely especially in the evenings but I suppose it will get easier with time, just having someone around for all that time makes the house very empty when they are gone

I really do understand. In my case I went from 18 months ago when there were 7 people living in my house and now it’s just me. I have literally never lived alone before in my entire life and I get very lonely indeed at times. I cannot imagine how much worse it must be for you if there is no family to reach out to. It’s hard to know what to say but I hope being able to come here to this site helps a bit.

yes it does help to know and talk to talk to someone with similar problems it certainly is not nice being totally alone

Hi Hugh, hang in there mate, It does become a little bearable in time, I lost my wife in April after 46yrs. And although i have family, it is very lonely in the evenings especially. The world will never seem to be the same again, but day by day things will click inn, Find things to do each day, even i it is to get a pint of milk from the shop, or a walk in the park, anything, do the same things each day, life itself will sort things out for you evenually, just stick at it, life does get better. .visit this site regularly, it helps…John.

Thanks John, yes I do try to fill my days with things to do but it is the evenings that are definitely the worst, you are right I seem to be getting into doing the same things daily, and I have four cats to look after that also helps, but I am so lonely, I will try to look in more often, Hugh

Hello, Hugh. I am sorry to read about the loss of your wife, Margaret and know just how you are feeling. My husband died in June and we had been married for 66 years so you can imagine how it is with me. I go out two or three times a day, just walking aimlessly around but, like you, I find the evenings are the worst. Maybe it won’t be quite so bad when we have longer daylight. I am also so lonely even though I have family. In fact, the loneliness is getting me down. I would love to have a cat but can’t have pets where I live, so I am looking at moving later on. I hope you will get through Christmas without too much trauma. I am dreading it even though I will be with family. Take care, and keep posting on here as I believe it helps a little. Eileen

Hi Eileen, thanks for your message yes it must be bad for you also, I will not enjoy Christmas sitting here on my own, not looking forward to it,
I stay on a croft in the north east of Scotland so the cats have plenty of scope I have old Henry who is 17 has diabetes and arthritis he has injections twice a day so that is something I have to do each day I have not forgot any yet, nice to talk to you take care of yourself Hugh

Hi hugh mate, how’s it going? Hope your fairing okay. As with you Eileen. One day one hour at a time, can’t rush things. Life has a way of making things right for us over time, even if you can’t see it now. It’s a pity in today’s age there isn’t some kind of “Startrek Portal” which could transport us folk on our own, to each other for a natter and glass of something, ha! probably come one day… Keep the faith… John

Hello, John. Great to see you on here again. I am trying my best to live one day at a time but it seems to be getting more difficult by the minute. Thank goodness when Christmas is over and we can maybe look forward to making a recovery from this dreadful place we are all in. I agree that it would be very nice if we could conjure up some magic to meet up with one another, but we have to make do with this excellent site which is the next best thing. I am spending Christmas Day with one son and Boxing Day with another. Not sure how I will get on as there will be children there and I am going to make a superhuman effort to look as if I am enjoying myself. As I have said on here before, it’s the loneliness which gets to me and there’s nothing I can do about that. In the spring I am going to look around for a place where I will be allowed to get a cat. I hope that you will get through the next few days and that things will get better for us all in 2018. Best wishes. Eileen

Hi John and Eileen, I am getting better slowly still the evenings that are getting me so lonely, and yes a Startrek portal or a Stargate would be a good idea or even beam me up Scotie would do to get me out of this terrible place I am in, instead I will do my best to cook myself a nice steak tomorrow no point in a turkey just for myself, as everyone says it will get better just wish it would hurry up, Hugh

Hi everyone,

I lost my dad 3 weeks ago, he was my world and we saw each other every day and now there is just me alone with my dog. I have no partner or children so live by myself and Hugh I can so relate to the isolation and loneliness during the evening’s especially.

It is a bad reflection on society that people have to be so alone in this day and age. People can be so selfish. Christmas Day not one phone call from anyone to even say hello. I was lucky a friend did call and see me with some flowers which did lift my spirits.

I hope going into 2018 we can all rediscover some happiness without our loved ones and hope kind people come our way where we don’t have to feel this awful loneliness. Lyn

Hi Lyn, sorry for your loss, I really know how you are feeling it is still early days for me also, it is strange how all ones friends suddenly stop calling I suppose they are in an awkward position not knowing what to say, and it will get better someday when they return to there normal behaviour and get over the loss, which they will also will be feeling,
in the mean time we just have to make the best of it and try to get out more, eventually it will get better I hope, Hugh

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