I feel like I am falling in love all over again. Today my heart is almost bursting full of love and pride (yes pride) for the man that was mine, is mine still. I’m staring at a photograph as I write and oh, how I love him. The love in my heart is travelling right down to the pit of my stomach and it hurts but at the same time it is glorious. I feel blessed to have had him in my life and that he chose me to spend his life with. My gorgeous man…
I just needed to share this with someone so who better than all of you. Thank you for being there. xx
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Oh dear Kate. How wonderful that you feel as you do, your post has brightened my day and I am going to look at my Brian’s photograph (I have them all over the house) and try hard to be like you. Be proud that we had our thirty years together. For me I am going to not always look at my memories through ‘rose coloured glasses’. I will, I hope laugh at the times he annoyed me, especially in the early days of our marriage, when he hated me decorating and would go out in a strop because he couldn’t stand the mess and not help me with humping the furniture about. When he sulked and remember how he had to adjust to having me around his house as he had lived on his own for six years by then and always did like his own space. These memories are precious also but he changed over the thirty years and became the kindest caring man you could want. I saw his doctor the other day and he said that Brian had died where he wanted to be, in his own home and with the woman he loved, but he had chosen his own way to die. I have come to realise that after he went and felt betrayed as he never discussed this with me and the Dr didn’t say anything more and I didn’t want to know, it’s past, no point dwelling.
Your attitude is amazing and I am going to try and follow your lead because I don’t want to feel like this forever. Again thankyou, so kind of you to put in writing your innermost feelings Pat xxx
Dear, dear Pat, what lovely, kind words you write. Alas, not all days are like this but today is a good day and I have been feeling this love for a few days now. What a wonderful thing your doctor told you - hang on to his words. You too are doing amazingly well and have given me comfort and support. Thanks again Pat. Xx