My Dad passed nearly two weeks ago. First week was awful, second week is like a blanket has settled over me and the upset and sadness is everywhere I look. Finding it hard to get out of bed, get dressed, have a shower. Some days I almost felt like life was back to normal and others are all consuming. I’m off work again and feeling bad that I’m not there and worried I’m not coping better. Went back after a week and having something else to focus on felt lighter but the pressure and demands and deadlines just were too much and after a few days I crashed. My Dad was in NZ and I’m here in the UK. I visited him in Sept and we had a wonderful time together. It was hard to leave knowing it was the just time I’d see him, but I managed it. He lived a year longer than his prognosis - was given a few weeks, initially - and I guess I thought somewhere underneath that he might go on forever. Now they’re getting rid of his clothes and I’m realising how empty it all is without him. We promised we’d try and find each other somehow, afterwards. I’m waiting and watching but there’s just a vast silence and I can’t sleep.
I’m sorry to hear you are going through this. I find myself feeling very similar to what you have described after losing my mum just over 2 months ago.
So what I have found that helps is to give myself little tasks to complete each day, walk the dogs, wash up, shower etc. I try and do them in priority order so if I don’t do all of them I don’t feel guilty!
Sleep is awful, unless I take prescribed sleeping tablet it’s very difficult, like now!
I’m sure work will understand, would you u be able to do a phased return to work? You may find this is more helpful to try and get back into some form of routine.
What I find helps, talking about my mum, talking out loud to her, listening to her favourite songs going for a walk, she loved doing that, and having a bloody good cry!
Take care of yourself x